:-"HirZa"-:

2009-01-05T18:03:00.001+08:00

Israel launched the offensive to stop rocket attacks from hamas controlled Gaza that have killed several israelis. How many is several compared to the 512 Palestinians killed and 2,500 injured since the air attacks began. Even if they say that they only target hamas militants, those are still human lives who have relatives and families of their own who would miss them. malaysian ex-prime minister urged a global boycott of the US dollar and US made goods as a way to retaliate against US's support of Israel in it's attacks on the Gaza. But the probability of such a measure being taken seriously is definitely zero as the US dollar rests deep within all the major financial markets of the world. Such an action would be economically suicidal as the US dollar is the standard trading currency, furthermore the US market is too large to miss a chance at profiting from. What is more is that who would want to make enemies with a superpower such as the US which is equipped with nuclear weapons and missiles that can travel half the globe. The ex-prime minister does give simplified enough explanations that "If you stop accepting US currency, the US can't trade and can't make any money,it will become very poor and it will have to stop the production of more and more weapons in order to kill people". But that against an economic downfall? No way. People need to make a living and in this age, money counts for almost everything. He was well known for his outspoken emotional antics but feelings often do drive us to irrational and unrealistic ideas. We must be smart and think with our feet first then once things are all settled, only then can we rave in our personal fantaicies.

Fourth Date with Mrs A-Z

2009-01-01T16:53:00.008+08:00

“You calm the storms

And you give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You steal my heart

When you take my breath away

Would you take me in?

take me deeper now...”
Everything By Lifehouse

There were showers in the early morning that seemed would have dampened our plans but we prayed on and decided to check the weather again to see if it would still be alright. Praise to the almighty as the afternoon appeared bright and sunny-- Our day was saved.

We arranged to meet at the MRT station where we walked to the bus interchange and took a bus from there that would lead us to her most favourite park, a place to which she owes much of her memories from. She gave me a hug just before moving on to the interchange as it was almost two weeks since we last met and I realized that I missed her just as much as she have missed me. The bus we took was almost empty with only the both of us and another couple too that went onboard with us.

Before embarking on our adventure, we chilled out at a Mac Café outlet nearby. She treated me to a Himalayan tea; hers was a Vanilla Frappe and a chocolate chip muffin though the muffin was only consumed not till much later. The tea tasted like it came from Coffee Bean but it was very sweet and spicy. Soon, we left the café still with the drinks in our hand and exchanged drinks along the way to the park. The journey to the park was rather interesting with several places to visit and hang out in private. There was this lovely little tunnel made of twigs, roots and branches hanging from above the roof and it felt romantic to be walking under it with her hand in hand. We also stopped by the chess garden where we took pictures to capture our moments together. I shall remember to bring some chess pieces the next time as there were tables and chairs already set for the occasion though it has been long since I played chess and was never really good at it. Along the pathways there were lots of graffiti-decorated litter bins which were pleasant to the eye since it also helped to integrate the message of helping to “Save the Earth” and take responsibility towards creating a green environment.

Our first stop was the adventure playground and there were lots of “stations”. Some of which included a high roped pyramid which you could scale up to the top, a sort of swing that rocked back and forth, the famous flying fox and numerous roped-like obstacles. There were dozens of children frolicking and happy families walking about judging from all the screams and shouting. We stood stationary at one of the playgrounds with our feet buried in the warm sand and her in my arms. From where we were standing which was near the playgrounds, we could look out into the vast ocean and also hear the horns of the ships that passed by. The heat radiating from the sun could be felt on our faces and just being able to be together again with the wind in our hair was worth every second.

The next stop was a huge field landscape called the Grand Lawn where many people were enjoying their own activities from playing soccer to flying lots of wondrous kites. Though the sun was up high, the breeze was cooling and I've never felt freer anywhere else and thanked her with a hug. Although there may have been lots of people but it was like everyone had a little quiet space to their own and the air there was quite refreshing. She wanted to go into a place called Marsh Garden since she's never been to it before and it turned out to be a nice and peaceful place indeed. It felt like we were walking through this little jungle as there were trees all around the wooden path that led to the pond at the other end. The pond was calm and silent and there were bread crumbs floating near the sides probably by someone who wanted to feed any ducks there. Long shoots of grass grew from the marshes and there was even a little island not too far away from the pond that she pointed out to me. We then hugged for a moment and made our way back out of the marsh towards the next destination-- the jetty.

Unexpectedly, the clouds were getting a little dark and light rain started to pour that threatened to postpone our trip to the jetty. However she was still persistent on going there and luckily she brought an umbrella along. She told me that you could get a great view of the ocean there. No rain was going to stop us from ending at the place where we were to have our second romantic encounter. Initially, the jetty was a little crowded but many fled away when the rain started to pour and the wind was blowing in wayward directions while I was striving to keep the umbrella up against the direction of the wind to keep her from the rain. We saw the big white ferry that was docked nearby and there were people on board busy moving things about and finally settled down on a bench facing the sea with the rain still upon us. We were just sitting down snuggled tightly to avoid the rain under the umbrella when surprisingly it stopped.

The sky was still bright, the rain had gone and the jetty was empty. I lowered the umbrella to the front of our feet just in case the rain would come again and cuddled her close with one arm around her waist. We were sharing lovely thoughts on how nice it was to be there and that the weather was still breezy. She played with my hair and rested her head on my shoulders and my head was resting next to hers. I got to feel again her familiar smooth supple cheeks, to sniff her scented hair, to nibble on her ears. She kissed my cheeks and I did hers and proceeded to the much awaited desire of uniting our lips once again. This was to be our second attempt at it and this time we tried doing the “butterfly” where we both tilted our heads in opposite directions. She then suggested we do it in synch to a song so we could slowly develop the mood and follow to the pace of the song thus gaining from its momentum. She already had a song in mind and it was Everything by Lifehouse. We both had an earpiece in one ear and then the song began.

Our heads and cheeks were just resting together and we had our fingers interlaced. The music started slow and mesmerizing with the sounds of the violin playing mellowly. I listened out to every single word in the song while we moved from resting our heads together to kissing one another's cheeks. I was simply enchanted by the song and before we knew it we were kissing passionately to the rhythm of the song and went even deeper when it got to the chorus and I went into total bliss. Just forgetting about everything else, just closing my eyes, feeling the song and her soft lips. Afterwards when it was all over she volunteered to buff one of my nails so I could feel what it was like to have such beautiful shiny smooth nails as hers. It was a romantic quiet moment where it was just the two of us being together and I deeply appreciated the little things we do such as these.

The sky soon started to get dark and we decided to make a move though she told me she will miss the place sorely but I said that we shall come there again another day. The both of us were glad to have enjoyed ourselves there and had a great time. We visited a restroom before walking hand in hand towards the bus stop while the world around us was rapidly getting very dark. As we sat at the bus stop sharing another quiet moment together awaiting the bus we confirmed to each other again that we both had a fun time. The bus that finally came took us to the MRT station in under a few stops and when we went up to the platform, we didn't immediately part ways but instead we sat down at the benches for a while looking back at the pictures we took as countless trains passed by on both sides. After some time however we knew we had to make our separate ways. We hugged and kissed for one last time before departing into our individual trains.

My mind was on her all the way back to my station thinking back over the fun we just had and would definitely be looking forward to do it again on another date. Thank the almighty again for blessing our day and may the upcoming New Year bring even lovelier things ahead.

2008-12-24T18:29:00.001+08:00

"the call to decriminalise hhomosexuality could lead to "the social normalisation, and possibly the legitimisation, of manydeplorable acts including paedophilia" acording to a counter declaration from some 60 countries. seeing that so many men out there prey on little boys, they must be gay. they can't get another grown man to love them so they overpower little male children. if all the men turn soft and the women go out to fight wars, it will be the end of the world. singapore flyer caught a fire recently. passengers were trapped for up to 6 hours. you'll get a beautiful glimpse of our cityscape when your up there, more and more concrete and very little natural formations. nature lovers couldn't enjoy the view. investment manager commits suicide after losing billions of dollars to Bernard Madoff's fraud-hit scheme. what use can be of him if he's dead. the leader up there is supposed to lead but if the leader dissapears, then the subordinates wil be helpless. so thank you very much for taking your own life, it was a big help.

Third Date with Mrs. A-Z

2008-12-20T17:13:00.008+08:00

“Our love is like the wind. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.”
- A Walk to Remember

It was a hot sunny afternoon the day we met. The sun was high up in the sky and many people were wearing sunglasses. Once the both of us were done with our afternoon prayers, out we went. It was only a short bus ride and walk to our intended destination.

Long since I've been to the place but the familiar scent of the grass and trees told me that I was home once again. You could hear the sounds of the yellow birds chirping, the crickets creaking and there was even a rooster on the loose and it made two ‘cock-a-doodle-doos’. The park we were at was by a very famous resort. As we passed by, we could smell the festive wafts of barbecued food in the air. Then, we headed down the pathway alongside the mangroves as other people were jogging and cycling by. Luckily there were maps to indicate where we were and guide us towards the beach. There were people playing soccer and many more others were by the sea. We had to go across a long wooden bridge to get to the target of our search. There was this poor tree which was all bare while the rest of its friends were full of foliage and we saw a beautiful river too while we were walking across the bridge.

There, we had a rest at a stone barbecue pit area where we had a drink and an exchange of snacks of cookies and chocolates. It was a sweet treat and we stayed for a while just enjoying the sea breeze as it blew our hair into a mess.

Soon afterwards we decided to move closer to the beach and folded out our little mat to lay it under a tree right by the sand. Sunset was approaching fast and the wind was still blowing ever so strongly. We took off our sandals and put our bags down to huddle closer together since the wind was chilly cold.

We were both facing the sea and could see the stream of lights coming from ships out there in the ocean. The gush of wind blew even harder and sitting side by side did not give enough warmth so we faced each other and hugged from the increasing coldness.
Our heads were resting on one another's shoulders while we talked about our parents, our lives, about our different characteristics plus our hopes and dreams. I told her I'd risk all that just to spend a moment with her. One moment from the usual days of our lives and the responsibilities we need to make sure we have a good future.

I was engulfed in the scent of her hair, the softness of the skin upon her face and her little ears. I could not get my hands off feeling her facial features. She then took my hand and let me down to where I could find her lips as I told her that I couldn't help but want to kiss her. It felt as if I was snuggling up to someone who I am completely at ease with. I was scenting and sniffing at her cheeks and up to her forehead while she chuckled endlessly. I started out with a light touch on her lips then she began to return the favor. And then we both had one half of the other's to take in. I gently caressed her lips in mine and before we knew it, our lips were locked in a passionate kiss. We went about at it for quite sometime while taking breaks in between to gasp for air and engaging in small conversations.

All the while the wind was howling incessantly and then we decided to lie back to see if we could avoid it. We lay facing each other, snuggling up even closer than ever. Time seem to have stopped for a moment though the surroundings were getting very dark and stars could be seen up in the sky and we spent some time trying to draw out constellations.

We were at it yet even more while we were both lying down and trying to snug away from the wind. We only decided to make a move when we saw dark clouds hovering above and began to sense that the wind had changed its course of direction. It would have been near darkness if it weren’t for the lights along the pathway to guide us.

We walked back hand in hand down the pathway, past other lovers, friends and families enjoying a great barbecue night. We might have been lost had it not been for the familiar landmarks that we remembered when we first arrived. The night was cool and dark and we finally came upon the bus stop where the bus would take us back to my home and we spent the short ride with our heads resting on one another.

I took her up to have a peek into my family's humble lodgings to rest and relieve ourselves while they were all away. Only granny was there to greet us with her charms and I felt bad for leaving her for so long. My beloved finally had a view of my room where I talk and whisper sweet nothings to her over the phone night and day in secret while we were listening to songs as well.

I went to set the table for dinner while she waited and listened to more songs. It was a simple dinner and we had it together in the peace and quiet of the evening. It was also amazing to find out that day that all this while the cordless phones we used to chat with one another were exactly of the same model.

It was soon getting late and we knew we had to part ways as we were worn out by the day’s activities and preferred to be undiscovered by any of our relations. So, I went to send her off to the bus stop where we embraced in another kiss and hug to say goodbye just before we parted and promised to see and hear from each other again.

This date shall be edged in my memory for a lifetime—18th December. The day of my first kiss, the day I gave a part of my soul to someone special to whom I put my happiness in. May the future always look bright for us and may god always bless and guide us to the right paths.

2008-12-14T15:47:00.000+08:00

minority ethnicities in M'sia speak out against unfair treatment. minorities here however do not-not in public anyway-and are quite content with the standards here.
indeed a teaching profession is not merely as a source of income but it is a dire responsibility. besides being there to earn a living, the teacher also molds for the future generation. a teacher imparts skills, morals and knowledge in class the same way parents do at home. children always make an example of their elders and for them to learn to have good discipline is through teachers who treat them like their own loving sons and daughters. young teachers nowadays who teach only for the sake of it will be haunted to their graves should they not impart good life skills on their students as well. they would have single-handedly destroyed the prospects of a better future generation of young ones who require guidance every step of the way.
employment should not always mean to move up the corporate ladder but to try a hand at different jobs to improve one's skills in every aspect of the same work and of different types of work. a senior position holder retiring and finding work elsewhere in a field outside his profession and starting low is also called progress. he is oficially learning a new skill which shall turn him into a a more emphatic person who treasures the contributions of every one in society from the top of the ladder to the bottom.

2008-12-10T14:05:00.001+08:00

thoes militants who kill under the name of Islam are not muslim. muslims are taught to love their fellow men and can only atack if their own lives are at stake or if their religion is directly under fire. these people have been misled to thinking that anyone who is not of their religion should die. it's no wonder they are labeled extremists. they are consumed by too much emotion in which case will result in them doing irrational things. as god said that we can weep over the dead but only for awhile. we must not hate but love. we must learn to love our enemies only because they have been misled into evil. hating them back for all the wrong things they do will only make the world a worser place to live in. if one hates then the other must love so as to balance out the equation and make the world a fairer place. if the nice start to hate the bad for what they do, then both sides will just end up hating one another and the world will be destroyed. may faith always reign over all as it does help one to find the answers to peace. :D

2008-12-05T15:58:00.000+08:00

may stories of our recent Mumbai victim cease so that she can finally rest in peace. support our llabour chief in asking that non-citizens be opted out first in a firms retiring exercise. firms use our land and therefore should work in the interest of our people. a couple in their late 40s having 11 children aged between 5 and 20. the mother a housewife and a father with a salary of 1,500 dollars a month. how do they even be able to stretch their income to encompass all of them. salutations to the parents. kudos on evergoing efforts to reach out to HIV infected people. they should not be segregated for they are one of us. may there be no lead in toys and melamin in milk this christmas. spread happiness and laughter instead of hatred and scorn in the world not just for this christmas but all year round. potential employees have to show a valid academic certification to their future employers and now firms have to show a certificate of service excellence to potential customers. may ASEAN keep progressing as a relevant regional body develloping it's members to face the 21st century. okay feeling a little sick so can't think as much. lol.

My second day with my Mrs A-Z

2008-12-03T09:46:00.005+08:00

The day didn't go out quite as planned as it rained and therefore our activity could not be executed. But though we could not do the activity itself, i find that just to be able to spend more time with her means the world to me. To be able to hold her close once again, to have the honour of her hand, to feel that sort of bond that lovers feel. Only through her then I can slowly start to understand that beautiful feeling when you are with someone you love. I used to be such a cynic who never really understood why people do such things but now when I am in love myself, now then I get the picture. It has that sort of timeless feeling where you can do nothing all day and just spend time with your special one. My dear, through you I have learnt how it feels to have a bond of respect and love. It is not lust but rather a very close bond feeling. I love you my dear and may we together face through the different trials in life. True love takes time to build and I am up to the challenge.

2008-12-02T11:11:00.001+08:00

Steps to master a language:
1. learn the language
Sentence structure, vocabulary, pronounciation, spelling
2. Practice the language
Read newspapers, listen to the radio, watch television shows, find a native to chat with
Simple. One more thing is to not try too hard to remember. Language is supposed to be fun to learn so take it easy.
Now M'sia classifies gang robery as involving only two people. Kudos for the tougher sentences but two can hardly be called a gang. haha.
Child abusers should be damned. Their level of faith is low and therefore they are taken over by the devil. Economic downturn so cheap christmas this year.

My first time with Mrs A-Z

2008-11-28T16:08:00.005+08:00

To finally be able to meet my lady once again is such a blessing. To be away from prying eyes, those of people who only know how to judge by what they see in front of them and not any deeper. To have her dear hands in mine, to have her sit warmly close by my side, to have our heads resting together. One feels at peace and she is the sweetest thing to him. She is the first to be so close by his side and yet, he feels at home. the gift from him he has given her. One side of the pair is with her, the other he keeps. A symbol to you my dear that wherever you go, you take a part of me with you and wherever I am, I'll be always thinking of you. Her gift to him back was such a lovely surprise. The fact that she must have taken ages to come up with such a thing touches his heart very deeply *tears from a touched heart*. He will treasure it and continue to decipher it till the last of his days. Though the moment spent was brief, it meant a world to him. Love you my dear and may you always be blessed. :D

2008-11-25T10:15:00.000+08:00

had my best friend come over yesterday. His ORD will be in march. Just a few more months for him and he shall be a free man once again. We talked about his company excursion at the Singapore Zoo last Sunday and how it has changed to being to commercialized and that it has lost its natural animal-human bond feeling. He bought me a souvenir in which I feel like using it as a symbol to link me and my lady. All I can say is that it comes in a pair and I shall use it to symbolize the fact that she has become a part of my life and to tell her that wherever she goes I will be thinking of her. So me and my friend watched a movie called Fatal Fury and played his favourite game Street Fighter. Then we went out to have dinner at 6pm to Sakura Restaurant at Downtown East. So here was what we had though I forgot the names of some of the dishes. First we started off with some sushi and I had mine spread with wasabe sause all over each piece. the sushi was sweet and the wasabe tasted dry and toxic as usual. Then we had some oysters and scallop. The oyster tasted blooddy and therefore not to my liking. The scallop tasted like tomato spaghetti sauce. then we had our hotplates. There was beef, lamb and dory fish. We had all three. hehe. The lamb was tasty, the fish was sweet and the beef was abit raw but quite nice as well. Then we had this little bowl of tofu and egg soup and it was very light and nice. we ordered peking duc but they gave us otak-otak instead. oh well. Then we had fruit salad. Apple and Lettuce in mayonaise. Then we had clam on a stick. It was cold but it tasted okay. Then we had grilled eel. forgot the name of the dish though but it was nice. haha. Then we had shark's fin soup. I felt bad eating the soup though while thinking of the poor sharks. We had another round of scallop before we finally moved on to dessert. my friend had vanilla ice-cream with chocolate rice while I had two little cups of cocon jelly mango and lychee pudding. The pudding was such a sad rip-off though. You could get it at the supermarket. I only had coke drink throughout the buffet but it was fine. We came out two full and happy people and came back to my home. What a day. Still suffering from the effects of eating too much I think. haha. Tummy still aching a little.

2008-11-22T15:44:00.002+08:00

Za shall change to become a more responsible person. He admits he was always easy with words of praises for people. He has learnt from his past experiences that constant praising may not always turn out good. People do get the wrong message if one praises too much. He has learnt that it is a world of different perceptions and what may seem right to him may not be so in the eyes of another. He asks for forgiveness from those to whom he has caused such confusion and despair. To those to whom he has lost all relation he just wishes them well in whatever they do and live equally happy lives. Being in a relationship is a first for him and now he knows he must take care of what he does lest his girlfriend strangles him. Yes, Za will still be who he is, but the praises shall be reserved only for his one lady. her singing is truely melodious to his ears, her stern voice commands his full atention, her laughter brighten's up his day and her history plus all the things about herself he hears and takes to heart with great care. I love you my dear.

2008-11-17T12:48:00.000+08:00

Went to a relative's wedding yesterday held at Lagun Sari Restaurant. It was to be held in the evening. My family and I arrived at around 6pm. Mostly all our relations were there already. Brothers and I found a table to sit and wait for dinner. Met many of our uncles and aunts, cousins came and joined us at the table soon after. One cousin was discussing about her first year Polytechnic experience. Brother and her discussed about the different polytechnics and their grading systems. For example Republic Polytechnic grades according to the amount of attendance in school. Then another cousin gave the latest news about his self-initiated business which offers services to mosques and other centres that require manpower. He talked about how he looked to Anuar Ibrahim as an example to his flaws and strengths. We congratulated our other cousin who has attained two big brother in laws from the successful marraiges of his two elder sisters. Both sisters highly successful in life: one is a school teacher and the other a university lecturer. The music that played in the background was predominantly melayu. The buffet food consisted of flavoured rice, fish fillet, fried flour balls aka jemput-jemput, curry chicken, spicy long beans, mee soto, rojak or gado-gado, brinjol crackers, chocolate fondue, apple crumble cake, chocolate brownies and fruit punch. The evening's entertainment was via a DJ who helped to make announcements, played the songs, coordinated karaoke performances, had a quiz session etc. Some seasoned karaoke singers were brought in to entertain us, some were really good and others were a little just under par. members of our own large family also took to the stage to sing their numbers. There were trio performances, singles and even the bridegroom came up to serenade his wife with two songs. All in all the wedding dinner was a feast for the tastebuds and ears. Uncles talking, aunt's chatting about, little children: my nephews and neices running about, loud music filling up the entire hall etc. May my relative live many happy long years with his new wife.

2008-11-14T11:08:00.000+08:00

Oil prices are dropping rapidly now. Time to buy up and build up a stockpile. Sell it off again when the economy booms once more or use it to deter countries from selling to you at high prices since you have your own oil reserves.
People losing jobs amidst the global financial crisis. May they be able to find jobs elsewhere and continue to retrain for more skills. May the government give aid to them in these times of difficulty.
Malaysian cleaner killed at Singapore Zoo by white tigers yesterday. Zoo animals are still as dangerous as ever though snakes, parrots and elephants are domesticated. Onlookers watched helplessly as man was ripped apart and gouged on.
Banks will still lend money to large firms with strong balance sheets amid financial crises. Strong credit standing equals financial stability throughout any storm.
Help the poor with entrepreneurship and not charity or government aid. Sounds wonderful. It would be self-sustaining as the task to seek for funds would be in the receiver's hands instead and not tasked to charities and the government to provide aid while they just sit around.

2008-11-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

She represents the tulips that grow only in a faraway land. A place that one dreams to go. Somewhere where he can go to discover himself, and not be bothered about anything more. Such emotions he feels are a first of many sorts. Love is a beautiful feeling but oh how it consumes one's entire being. One's heart has never beaten so strongly before nor do the deep bbreaths that try to encompass this strong feeling. It crise for a release to find someone or something to help calm down this joy and pain. The joy of finding someone so alike himself but the pain from a fear of ever losing a connection with her. She is envisioned in his mind as the most amiable lady ever to have touched his heart. One who he constantly thinks of unless he finds something else to fill up his time. She is the first to witness his tears of anguish and desire to form an everlasting connection with her. He seeks an anser, a sign to help him solve this desire. Her constant desire to connect with him only seek to further strengthen his drive to solve the pains once and for all. To the mystery lady.

2008-11-09T07:49:00.002+08:00

first black US President, why not first non-chinese Prime Minister here. sure racial sentiments will arise but they shall all be toppled just as equally. Donald Rumsfeld once said this of the Bush administration: 'As we know, there are known knowns. There are things we know we know.'We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some thingswe do not know.
'But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know.' Anyone "knows" what he's talking about? lol. so the Bush administration has it's windfalls but it still had it's respected moments. now on with the Obama administration or whatever term that may suit his new party. HIV testing should be done as part of routine medical check-ups. sounds like a sound idea. once your tested positive for HIV, the ministry will know. private employers will not be informed but what if the person is working in the civil service. Olympics said to have changed China. may the Youth Olympics change the negative perceptions towards our country too. racism is an issue that can be solved as it is said that we all come from the first two human beings on earth but where homosexualism is concerned, there can be no doubt that it is a disgusted practice that goes against nature itself. the fact that oral or unatural sex is an offence here warrants no debate. more rules should be in place as the evil world comes up with even more atrocities against human moral rights. gold prices may rise and fall according to economic demand and supply but it may never end up as worthless as banana money. hmmz. H1 Lit exam tomorrow, shall strive for the best. smiles

2008-11-06T11:51:00.001+08:00

Obama the next us President. yes! he's as old as my dad now. omg. financial reports hogging news headlines. how may we encourage more people to take public transport if they are charged ERP just like the motorists. remove ERP for buses equals cheaper fares? Netherlands to take ERP one step higher: charge cars based on the amount of distance they travel and greener cars also pay less. sounds like a sound idea. nope. there will surely be contestation. time to turn the Wite House into a Black Istana. down with wite supremacy anyone? the fact that they want to legalise the monetary compensation for women who voluntarily donate their eggs will make people treat parts or tissues of their bodies as disposable economic assets. from the current intellectual capitalism to human capitalism? literary humans body parts as a valuable sellable asset? US celebs celebrate Obama victory. up with Black Hollywood. let's call it Bling Town. dress well and not sloppily or outrageous. that should be the image of a model respectable student. with that well dress comes the amiable manners. don't talk about good behaviour here to teenage students. it is very pre-school. we want words like civility, ease of manners, good countenance, sweet temper. modern trends have lost their class. either that, or teenagers have lost their maturity. may the new President change the world for the better. looks like it is already changing. god bless him. death by firing-squad. wonder if they will shoot right at the heart or they agonise you first by shooting elsewhere. a life for a life. it is only fair. wanna kill hundreds or thousands of people besides bombing? have a ferry or ship accident. do greive for those who have lost their loved ones. never ending news stories. love it. k back to H1 Lit study.

2008-11-04T08:35:00.001+08:00

pay extra for additional legroom on a flight. steep job cuts during a global financial crisis will only worsen the situation. more unemployed people on the streets, people with no more wages but only savings to last them for a finite time. they cut down on their regular spending to only for necesary goods. firms receive less sales as a result and therefore need to cut down on more resources? spiraling down effect of unemployment? unpleasant indeed to have a failed investment. high birthweight equals healthy babies and future persons with less chances for cancer and diabetes? expectant mothers urged not to smoke, consume alcohol and take too much caffeine lest they end up with a baby of low birthweight. charity volunteers only thinking of filling up their donation boxes? can't blame them. it is their main goal and forgive them if some end up too pushy. chiong-ing on for upcoming H1 Lit exam. go yoda and the force. hehe

2008-10-30T20:07:00.000+08:00

the Las Vegas Sands casino resort here by end 2009. so we can have another Rush Hour movie with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker here in Singapore. wonder how are they going to be able to shoot car-chase scenes on our cramped and busy roads. "It noted that early detection and treatment can help delay the development of Aids
and improve patients' quality of life." looks like once you get it, there is no way out. early detection only helps to stall your death sentence for a while longer. Youth Olympic Games to be held here for the first time in 2010. an incentive for married couples to have more babies? want a child to be proud of who represents Singapore? then start conceiving and who knows he or she might end up the next Youth Olympic Games champion. imagine anti-government protests here just like in Thailand but without any weapons. instead of throwing grenades we throw wet tissue paper and rubbish? sorry. will be fined for littering. half the battle is won with the end of the H1 Malay paper. next comes H1 Literature.

2008-10-26T17:16:00.003+08:00

imagine living in a country where there are rebels who fight against the ruling government. so long as your seen wearing the government's colours or supporting their initiatives, you'll be hunted down. financial crisis caused by human folly? top executives of financial institutions sacked for harassment, favouritism and abuse of power. beef is nice to eat but too much red meat is unhealthy. so up with more white chicken and fish meat. better reasearch on whether chillie padi is unhealthy too. foreign investors pulling out asian stocks. goodbye strong asian economies for the time being.

2008-10-23T10:02:00.000+08:00

Barack Obama for the next US President. Will racism ever stop? The Americans should practice tolerance just like in Singapore. How dare they reject someone just on racial grounds alone. Meritocracy in America anyone? Damn those hate groups. Don't they have anything better to do like to make the world a more harmonious place to live in? Globalization will never really take place so long as there is still segragation in the world. Whites kill a bear and blame a Black for it's death? How utterly ironic. Rise up Animal Rights groups! A white American not wanting an African American to run America? How shameful it is to see segregation within America, a global power who would be expected to set a good example for other nations.

2008-10-21T09:50:00.001+08:00

anyone knew that a newsletter usually only reports good stuff about an organization while a newspaper would be more liberal in pointing out the bad points as well. what a discovery. i never really knew this. hehe. universal studios is building their first transformers ride right here in sentosa by 2010. wonder if you get to experience being a mega huge transformer like optimus prime and lumber around in city streets and fight off baddies like megatron. upcoming marina bay sands resort hiring up to 10,000 workers. they did mention that they will try to hire as much singaporeans as possible but wonder just how many percent of the future workforce will really be singapoerans. they are the first employer here to hire housewives, retirees and senior citizens on a large scale. wonder if once the casino opens up, will there be less toto queues in the neighbourhood shopping areas. what an ugly sight it is to see people queueing up to bet for numbers. maybe it's an asian kiasu tradition. think we'd rather see these people investing their money in stocks which will usually secure a profitable return in good economic times. indeed even though you may be a small investor, you must know the risks involved in investing in any products that your bank recommends. happily promoted to third year and now just concentrating on the upcoming H1 exam in november! jiayu jiayu bahasa melayu and literature. hehe.

2008-10-18T10:02:00.001+08:00

assisted suicide clinics in Switzerland. they help you to die based on your personal preference to do so. this goes against religion as we are barred from taking our own lives. imagine if we had such things here. what can they do to assist? help to push you off the roof of a ten storye building should you become hesitant. you probably signed a document with them saying that you already chose to die so there is no way out. assisted suicide practitioners turned legal Murderers. brit guy aged 23 chose to end his life due to a rugby injury that paralyzed his body from the chest down. beware of dislocating your spine or you can say good by to walking and any other physical activity. it may be heart-wrenching for us if we are faced with such a dilemma but we must as good human beings serve as an example and an inspiration for the rest. c'mon guys, we can do it. god is giving us a test of should we pass, we shall be rewarded in the after-life. people still buy priceless paintings in the midst of the economic crisis. a good investment when we sell it off later at a profit when the economy booms again. let them allow euthanasia here but only for people in a vegetative state. seriously some stories on famous celebrities are just for amusement. cut on consumption but don't cut on research and development says our prime minister. invest in future goods but not in current wants. sounds like a sound idea. haha.

2008-10-15T08:55:00.000+08:00

the poor and rich should stay together and in similar conditions because both
are contributing their best to society, is the best form of reward. yes! i agree with this statement. the rich are only rich because they manage greater responsibilities and so they fairly deserve a greater share of the pie income. vice versa for the poor but they are also doing to the best of their capabilities. we all need each other's contribution in this world. everyone takes up a job in society and without each other playing a part however little it may be, society will not function. how dare those proud people sham foreigners who were located near their private houses. shame on you to think so highly of yourself when it was your forefathers who toiled just like these foreigners did in order to get food on the table for their families and their livelihoods. parents always wish a better future for their children and most of the time it occurs. we are forever greatful to our parents who toil out there in their jobs just to ensure a adequate financial condition for our family. but some children grow up spoilt and do not empathize with all the hardwork that their parents did to raise them up and end up leaving their parents in the care of a stranger. how dare you! your own mother and father who loved you while you were still a baby till the day you got married. yes there are parents who are not responsible over their famlies and there are children who are more in love with their friends than their own family. i shall on my part never forget to love all my kin regardless of their social status. but damn to those who think highly of themselves. :P

2008-10-14T05:20:00.000+08:00

it is sad to have people ending their lives being unable to cope with financial loss due to the global financial crisis. it cannot be denied then that the loss of a home or a livelihood is emotionally and psychologically excruciating. may we all use faith as an avenue to ring out our distress so we do not end up doing something which pains our relations and bring to them a loss as well. governments all around the world coming in with packages to save frozen banks. hey, people suffering from mental illness should not be discriminated. their hearts beat just like us and like them, we search for food when we're hungry. confidence builds up again and stocks soar as governments pump in money to aid flailing financial institutions. slimming advertisements do make people unconciously accepting that staying trim is the way to go. dispel with slimming advertisements! exercise is the way to go. gym memberships, sports coachings should be the way. we want trim and fit bodies, not thin and frail limbs. using chillie padi to scare naughty children into behaving properly. i love chillie padi. people, please don't use your hands to rub the chillie padi onto the little guy's lips, it could be infested with germs you know. use a spoon or something. make him eat it! 18 year old boy molesting 13 year old girl. please, this will not do. do go for reformative training. may the boy end up more mature next time. it is rules and regulations, laws and faiths that help to prevent us from doing such beastly things. we are humans after all and the almighty is the only pure being.

2008-10-11T16:09:00.000+08:00

governments use taxpayers money to partly nationalise private banks in a bid to give them more liquidity to function again amid the current global financial crisis. the extra capital may aid banks to restart their frozen assets once again but it means that now the banks become partly government owned. some taxpayers may be unhappy with their money being used to save these banks who they claim to falter due to the faults of their own top executives. but governments counter by allowing taxpayers to have a share in the bank of which their money is used in. so profits that the taxpayer can make may only start to come about once the recession is over. wall street now becoming a tourist attraction? all the chaos going on there has not just attracted the eye of the officials but "holidayers" as well. what better to watch a real life drama going on then sitting at home with a fictional television show. kashmir still disputed between india and pakistan. people can do such drastic things in a protest to an unfavoured rule like disrupting businesses and schools. though it does make a large statement and garners global media attention, all the possible business profits for that day may be lost forever and so is a school day gone that would be full of enlightening education. political battles going on in the united states and malaysia. may whoever be the victor in the end jus lead the world and their country to a better future and a cleaner environment. formula 1 race still continuing in the world and now currently they're in japan. how nice it would be to travel around the world and experience all the different sights, feels and sounds. little should it matter what job takes you there. just being able to travel is a blessing enough. policeman being criticized for arresting a 15 year old female shoplifter who eventually killed herself probably due to the fact that she feels she can not face off to her family and her friends after what shes done. he is a human too and he is just doing his job. we should not place the blame on anyone but unstable teenage hormones.

2008-10-04T19:24:00.000+08:00

about one third of F1 fans watching the Singtel Singapore Grand Prix last Sunday are estimated to not know where Singapore is located. if Singapore was publisized well enough throughout the duration of the event, we can safely assume that more tourists will be tempted to come to our shores very soon. If they were tempted, it would mean that they would find out where Singapore is on their own. Luckily the media didn't cover how much waste material was left after the entire event was over, not forgetting the embarrasing display of rubbish to the international community on television when one of the drivers went off-course and came upon a grassy patch littered with scraps. Surely we shall not forget the volunteers who helped to make our country's first F1 race a success. but for someone to deliberately ask for an appreciation dinner for all these volunteers to thank them for their efforts might just go on death ears. we may expect the right thing to be done for us after all our toils but we should never ask for a reward so outspokenly. the new paper new face girls. what a way for us to display to the international community just how beautiful our Singaporean women are and just how materialistic they can become. well, it means only more money for businesses of these beauty and IT products when younger girls follow after their idols as well. certainly it is not just buildings the URA should be thinking of conserving for our historical memories but other structures as well. but wonder why it had always been buildings only. well people use buildings more than other landmarks such as parks and bridges and well, it means more income for the government when electricity and water are used. hybrid and electric cars are the way to go towards energy conservation and reduced carbon emmissions. manufacturers are racing to create the best performing and cheapest hybrid and electric cars but the government has to back them up with the right infrastructure. all existing petrol stations should ideally be equiped with electrical charging units for such cars. we need more electricity to feed such power hungry vehicles. more power plants please. what a shameful story of a couple assaulting a taxi driver. what else could they be after if not his money. may god punish the man who punched the taxi driver in the right eye and may the woman who tried to choke him be choked herself in the flames of hell. both couples described as wearing caps. what could they be. a hippie couple? lol. glue sniffers jumping to their deaths from a high storey. please use that very intelligent brain of yours more wisely people. those who feel that they are unable to cope with the sometimes difficult reality of life and wish to run away and escape into a fantasy of hallucinations are cowards. similar with those who smoke and those who take all sorts of drugs to solve their own weaknesses of not being able to handle a situation practically and unemotionally. it is all in our minds people. if there are people out there who are able to shut out the feelin of physical pain from their minds, of people who turn geniuses through mastery of their own strengths, then we can do the same. just about everyone who is not mentally handicapped is gifted with a working brain that can be nurtured and developed. still celebrating hari raya. hehe. lots of relatives to meet and lots more food to try. :P

2008-09-30T17:23:00.001+08:00

electricity bills to increase by 21 percent tomorrow, the day of Aidilfitri. what a perfect time for the authorities to cash in won't you say. mom suggests using candles. that would be cool. candle light dinners. melamin used to make diluted milk appear richer than it actually is. what a dishonest practice. what major losses for those who invest in such tainted products. adding on with the financial crisis that many major banks around the world are facing now can be disastrous. governments stepping in with cash to save debt-ridden banks. ironically, oil prices decrease as producers fear a drop in demand thanks to the crisis in the United States. more and more products are being discovered to contain melamin contaminants. safety measure: stay away from all dairy products. the end of the fasting month. may the month have been a blessing to many and may the almighty forgive all our misdeeds. the year has been one full of ups and down for the writer of this blog. may all his blunders be forgiven all those times and he just wants to say that he feels blessed with the things that surround him.

2008-09-28T16:44:00.003+08:00

school massacres in the US, now in Finland too. both involving students of the school acquiring weapons from somewhere. glad we should be that our government prohibits the free personal posession of arms. the same tragedy may happen here as there are already so many emotionally charged individuals who feel that they are at the end of their wits and end their lives by jumping down high rise buildings, jumping down to the track right in front of an oncoming train and even burning themselves alive. like someone here who went to the extent to smuggle a weapon out of camp to get revenge at his girlfriend. stop emoing people, it's the little that starts it till it balls up to an unprecedented mass till it turns evil like the devil. bumpy ride on our roads? it was never meant for F1 anyway. the car is small, fast and light and probably equipped with little suspension. best luck to the drivers tonight racing for the first time at night with the challenging road conditions. it would be an experience to ride the new Airbus plane. competition between two of the world's largest aeroplane manufacturers. coming to the end of the fasting month and this month especially feels like the most special month yet of my life. waiting patiently for the promotional results. just hoping for the green ticket to the next year and thus begin the long revision to success.

2008-09-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

4 year old girl cut by her best friend with a paper cutter in school. victim suffered two deep cuts which needed 12 stitches. she was slashed on the left leg below the knee. happened on the same day our MM had his birthday. they were playing in a corner in class while the teacher was busy with some other students and her friend spotted the paper cutter lying on a table. the victim touched the blade and realised it was sharp and before she knew anything, her friend slashed at her below the knee. her screams did not deter her friend who slashed at her again below the first cut. luckily the teacher heard the screams and went to bandage the wounds. her friend however seemed to be unaware of her wrong actions and it's consequences of hurting her friend. parents blame pre-school for not taking better care of their children. scary ain't it. a four year old slasher and at that young mindless age. note to self, never leave anything dangerous in the hands of children especially when they don't know it's consequences.

2008-09-23T11:17:00.001+08:00

condolences go out to the family who finally found the missing body of the diver yesterday. may the man's soul rest in peace and be brought to heaven after the end of all days. more condolences go out to his wife who recently just gave birth to a single child. may she find new strength to carry on and raise the child to be a healthy, intelligent and strong person. in this sacred fasting month may all our prayers be ansred and may whatever happens always have a hikmah behind it. to lose a loved one is grevious and heart-wrenching. may the almighty always keep blessing us with renewed strength to face any obstacles that befall us.

2008-09-22T07:48:00.000+08:00

white rabbit brand sweets tainted with melamine which is an industrial chemical that can lead to kidney stones and kidney failures. no more consumption of creamy milky white rabbit sweets. no wonder they've always tasted a little funny. cheese tastes better than this preserved block of milk cut into chewable pieces of sweets. policeman accidentally misfired his rifle and takes away a little girl's life in a prison where she and her mother were visiting their imprisoned father. amazed that one single bullet could hit three people at once. trust the law to protect us and instead it kills us. bullet went through a door before hitting the mother, her child and another prisoner. bullet proof doors anyone? waiting for the reopening of the school for us and wishing the rest good luck in their exams beginning today right after our's had stopped.

2008-09-17T13:29:00.000+08:00

Maid Abuses
The maid employed and paid for her services is reserved her individual rights. She is not a slave. She does not physically belong to you. We are out of that era where we literally owned our maid; her life and her freedom. How dare you pull out her two front teeth. At her age, she would not be able to grow another set of teeth anymore. The only way for her to regain those teeth are through some expensive operation. At whatever age the abuser is in, whether still in adolescence or in their seniority, they shall be punished severely to serve as an example to the rest of society. So long as they are not mentally handicapped, they shall suffer. What inhuman abuses. It may be irrational behaviour, based on some uncontrollable feelings of anger or whatever sort. This is indeed a human fault and everyone is capable of it. If that is their only defense, forget about their age, at that age, they should be able to distinct right from wrong, that is a stupid excuse. We all have to learn at some point about controlling our basic human emotions from going overboard and causing us to do unthinkable things. Self control of one's emotions and self-esteem is an individual discovery. There has to always be both sides to an argument and on god's command, we shall be fair.
Prosecution: punish them for the extraction of her teeth, for pouring boiling wax and other senseless abusers.
Just look at the age of the abuser, an 18 year old mother of one child. By right, she should still be pursuing her education. If you can learn to abuse people in such a variety of ways, then it shouldn't be contested that you can use that same intelligence to succeed in life. At that young an age and already a mother. She must have given up to temptation and conceived the child out of wed-lock. Again another sin that has to be punished. Funny how she was only jailed and not fined. Could imply that her financial position was unthinkable too just like her abuses. However long ago the abuses were conducted, they must be accounted for and punished for duely. How dare these teenagers subject their maid who is more senior than them to such childish abuses like standing on one leg the whole night. Have you no respect for seniority? where is that conservative culture of respect and brotherhood that we once knew and whom our forefathers practiced? The fact that now the maid's innocence has been proven to not have conducted such thefts within the household, now arises the question as to who now must be blamed for the missing valuables. The suspects now seem to point to the family membrs. How it must feel to them to know that they were betrayed by their own family members. This goes against our prime minister's calls for a more gracious society. Should I be a lawyer? haha. Exams finaly over and now resting at home but still keeping mind active. hehe.

2008-09-12T12:13:00.000+08:00

Racial Tensions in Malaysia.
How are we supposed to build a peaceful world full of goodwill if there are such things happening. The elders there warn that if there is such conflicts, there would be disasterous consequences. Hope they themselves show a good example of harmony and togetherness. How dare that politician call my friends from the north as immigrants and squatters. What more during this blessed fasting month where we are thought to practice tolerance, to pray more, to give more and basically just put away all the bad feelings. Why do we have to fight over our differences. We are after all just humans with eyes and ears and everything else. There should be nothing wrong if the military superiors so desire to partake in politics if their intentions are for the good. Forget about differences between races, people within the same race also try to take down one another. What is the use of all these racial debates if the end result is that we destroy ourselves for which we were supposed to fight for in the first place. Indeed, racial sentiments must cease. No one likes to be told by another race that his or her race is weaker or has faults. We should take such matters into our own hands and among ourselves. That politician deserved his punishment and the wrath of the people who he discriminated. Those who supported him may have their reasons for some which could be true of them being discriminated by the Northern race. But this all boils down to the need for racial harmony and tolerance and more words should be added like respect, civility, admiration, love, brotherhood etc. Should there be any remarks, they should be taken constructively and not immediately opposed but thought of for a while. Negative human emotions should be destroyed for they are a sin. Yes we should be proud of our own heritage and cultures but not to the extent of diminishing another's. Wishing our country never to be hit by an earthquake. May the entire extended family who lost their relative out at sea be blessed with patience and still further hope that he may survive yet. pledging full support for counter-extrimism and anything else that devoids away from the true code. foreign government pumping in money to help bolster economy. our country liberalizing some of our public utilities. hope this leads to more competition and therefore cheaper prices. remembering 9/11 yesterday. formula one coming here! lots of whizzing sounds and extreme speeds. indeed, may our journalists focus more on the strengths of our handicapped rather then telling a long story about their disability. change of focus people. two more days left of exams next week. revise, memory power, bird-eye view of things, quick understanding and explaining together with patience. may the one who sits in the heavens bless us.

2008-09-07T20:11:00.004+08:00

the day after starts two weeks of gruelling examinations. wishing god for a positive mindset for all the papers. wishing for ease of understanding and quickness of response. sacrificing now for a better future tomorrow. dreams of being up there amongst the rest of the successors. a great drive to forget all past follies and keep pushing on to change for the better. grateful for the chances that god still gives me to always progress for the fairer. okay. pray for big thoughts, precise responses, ease of understanding and coming up with the answer. also for smart revision and that never say die kamikaze atitude. go go power. smiles!

2008-09-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

study smart. flash out those topics that will be tested. make lots and lots of notes as a practice for writing the essays later. examples for essays are quite important. dear earphones, why did you give up on me. i loved you with all my heart. i was true to you. i took ample care of you, cleaned you and housed you properly. but less than three months you broke up with me. i am saddened. i'll never trust such earphones again. i cannot even count the number of ex's i had in the past. all memories of a good past that we had but all broke up with me. it's always one side will lose the sound. must be the wire. must be the same mistakes that i make. rolling up the wire to keep the earphones aside. too much rolling that the metal wire inside gets damaged. i shall find a way out of this dilemma. i shall find my one true love soon enough. that's it for my earphones and studies.

2008-08-31T02:04:00.001+08:00

more businesses soon to come closer to residential neighbourhoods. as usual, the pros and cons of it. more money for businesses and less privacy for residents. more flexibility for businesses too in the future. no more standard restaurant or nightclub or take-away store. fusion! really does help to encourage entrepreneurship. intellectual property rights are indeed important and owners do what they must to protect their interests. social networking websites can be a good place to meet truely significant people in society and business but maybe not the rest. the age limit is there for a reason and unfaithful reports of age should be looked into. heavy rains are indeed a natural hazard. good drainage systems seem to be a way to resolve this. okay. intensive study. making notes, short forms, acronyms, remembering headings, advantages disadvantages, limitations, evaluation, examples basically all the key concepts. can do it!

2008-08-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

imagine two young school truants bringing in a taxi driver, a jogger, a passer-by and the civil defense just to save their lives after a fishing in the canal accident. more concerning is the name of the prestigious secondary school that was reported of which it's name might be tarnished due to this truant child. a rainbow of ethnicities. chinese boy and indian boy, malay civil defense officers save them. proud of the toughness and the quickness of our malays in handling this situation. thanks to the driver, the jogger and the passer-by who made the emergency call. collective sales everywhere. end of the olympics, kudos to those who got the gold and the rest who were no lesser. now to watch the host country as it clears up and moves on. businessmen at 18 years of age. judging by the mentality of most teenagers these days, it is doubtful. but there are still the roses among the thorns certainly. the rise of young enterpreneurs, teenaged at that. however, could it lead to exploitation or manipulation or coersion of these young legals. hopefully not. teacher's day and aces day bunched together into a single day. there has to be some opportunity costs. what has aces day got to do with mass dancing. sure it's still exercise but okay. as they wish. teacher's day celebrations. another way for the students to hopefully thank all their teacher's efforts with stage performances. think the real teacher's day will be the day the students get their leaving school results. so that is that. back to revisions. lots of topics to crammy in brain.

2008-08-23T21:35:00.000+08:00

hand foot and mouth disease causes rashes on the hands, feet and buttocks. so why not call it hand foot and butt disease. indeed we might just have an epidemic of it very soon. spreads through saliva and faecal matter. watch out for those kisses and diaper changes. rental flats truely only for the truely needy. There should have been more proper guidelines from the start on who is truely eligible. but then again, maybe they wanted to test out the market first. the lifting on restrictions of political films, public demonstrations and opposition election content is a good step towards greater democracy. but the current values of meritocracy seems just fine and fair. finally closure of the beijing games. people can get back to their more important personal routine lives. controversies and scandals are still so sought after nowadays as usual in the world. okay back to study. summarise, revise, get to the point, get the whole idea, understanding and rephrasing. lots of hard work.

2008-08-20T21:45:00.003+08:00

rubbish shoot fires on the rise here. causes, cigarette butts, charcoal embers, candles, basically any flammable thing that has not been put out entirely. it is said that decomposing garbage produces a highly flammable gas. two possible methods to solve. one is to install CCTV's in high risk areas or the other which is to install fire detectors within the chute itself that basically well sprays water when it detects too much heat. social workers here are all paid by charities. the fact that the demand for them is quite high, what with the looming aging population, should command a higher salary for them. their jobs, wich are emotionally draning, should be comparable to other jobs which are mentally or physically draining as well. why firms should hire social workers like how schools hire counsellors. well at least a slow growth for the economy is better than a negative growth. georgia is a commonweath of russia just like malaysia is a commonweath of the united kingdom. well, may the conflict between georgia and russia be resolved soon. so exams are drawing ever nerer. stone period gone and back to being myself only with a twist. that i've changed my atitude towards others. things are better and with god as my guide stay better always. the key to solve insecurity and uncertainty in the areas of relationships or any future things in life even is to not think too much about it. leave it to fate and god, just enjoy the short and sweet moments that come by day by day. thus i commit myself more towards worldly knowledge and the practical reasonable things in life. smiles for more peace.

2008-08-17T17:26:00.000+08:00

surrogacy for couples who are unable to conceive their own babies. either through the IVF method where the eggs and the sperm of the couple are put into another woman's womb or the other method where the woman is inseminated with only the male couple's sperm. the latter might definitely leave the female couple feeling like the born child is not her own but the male custody of the child from an ex-marriage. but the first method too though the born child will have the genes of both the couple, the surrogate mother is still the one giving birth to the child leaving the female couple still feeling no physical link with the child as she did not go through the whole labour process herself. the latter method may still be better than adoption as at least the child has the father's genes in him or her. but the problem is how come these couples cannot conceive the child themselves. there are rumours going around saying that some foods are natural spermicides. either that or couples have been too used to too much contraception till a time when they decide to conceive, they find they are unable to do so. surrogate mothers for busy working couples? that does not sound right though it may be practical indeed. leaving the rest to thoughts...

2008-08-15T20:49:00.001+08:00

airline food on singapore-kl bus trips would be an interesting addition to coach companies trying to compete with budget airlines going the same destination. sources say that airline food is not bad and quite appetizing so guess these trips will be more tantalizing for the tummy then. good luck to coach companies trying to make ends meet in this increasingly competitive market. they mentioned competing on the level of service. how about security. it doesn't look like a terrorist will hijack a coach to crash into an american petrol station anytime soon. planes are the way to go as it always seems. they move at a higher velocity which means any sudden crash at such a high speed will result in greater colateral damage. foreign law firms soon to be licensed to practice singapore law. finally a step towards greater liberalization . europe will face a recession if the current economic decline continues straight for another quarter. germany is the world's largest exporter and japan has the second largest economy. a significant number out of every 150 plus US homes will have to be mortgaged as more citizens are unable to repay their debts. what a gloomy outlook for the year ahead. exams coming in a short while. have to revise and summarise all topics for all subjects before the exam date. have to be exposed to as many question types as possible. taking homework as a constant practice and also to not miss out on the marks. exam minded, set, ready, go!

2008-08-10T12:45:00.000+08:00

indeed it seems that baby bonuses don't help. the money may be attractive but people have little clue on proper parenting. what is the case with teenagers nowadays who in their relationships plan so much for their future parenting when they themselves have little insight into their own strengths and weaknesses. how important it is for these youngsters to break out of their sheltered ideals. however, they should not be wronged for being who they are, growing up with their short-sighted dreams. time and great care is needed to guide them through this period all the way till they discover the real world better. guess there are some things that education can never really teach. it is up to these young individuals to discover for themselves. it is interesting to see just how emotive male teens are similar to their female counterparts. this shouldn't be the ideal case. one sex is supposed to compliment the other. not copy. maybe some moral teachings in schools and at home have to be revisited to direct boys to turn into men and not poets. the blame on the development of extreme emotions is not centered on the child. it is the parents who are like that themselves. parents themselves should visit less those areas and concentrate on just being practical. forget sending the children for counselling. it's the parents who seem to need it too.

2008-08-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

newspapers turning television broadcasts. so what we read on the newspaper, we can watch the same news online too. that sounds swell. a more informal approach to news broadcasting. sounds like the callers on radio news now can call up on television news as well. may we hear more singlish live and online. haha. the great wall country up north will be hosting the olympics in three days, may the innocents be saved from any possible terrorist attacks. the less one thinks of one's self among others, the more one shall see the weaknesses of others and not get bogged down by one's own weaknesses. the more one displays himself with good courtesy and attitude, the more he attracts those with similar intentions. so long as one is still stubborn and wants to keep his negative attitude, so will one meet less good people since he is blinded by his own stubborn negative attitude. may hard work always get it's due reward, may those who have put in the efort always be aplauded as they do deserve the compliment.

2008-08-01T23:38:00.002+08:00

every culture has it's unique aspects. like the chinese, indians and the malays who sstick to their form of external display. some of the so called negatives of this external displays like the mat and minah culture, the ah beng ah lains shouldn't be looked down upon but rather treasured. those who choose to abandon these as what they call defects and live a so called more civilized life are not solving the problem. first you must embrace the problem, the nsee how you can change it for the better. Learn to love it first, then change it.
civillians as what they are called should have been taught principles of moral values and should be better able to live with the modren babarian as what they are so wrongly accused of being called. how can it be that the civilized seperate themselves from the barbarians. how can people think just of themselves and not their other counterparts? ponder ponder

2008-07-29T20:26:00.000+08:00

bombings all over India. may the culprits be found and put to justice. car park charges here in our country cheaper than most other developed countries. indeed a short sighted view on just comparing car park charges only without taking into consideration income levels, our country's unique "pay to drive a car" ownership system. more neighbourhoods given a facelift in recent years, may it beautify our country further. olympic stars in Singapore! how hotels would go to great lengths to make sure they get the best service and privacy. 400 dollars for a stay of one day for a room. clubs providing "free" use of their pools for the swimmers. but paid publicity for that club on the news. open mindedness is the order of the day. parliamentary system versus presidency.. crime and punishment GP topic. very interesting. making notes on all those historical readings. never telling myself that i'm tired or need more rest. no more not even the slightest thought of feeling tired till the end of the day. smiles smiles. power in thy own hands thou shall have.

2008-07-25T17:39:00.001+08:00

i love jazz. the music is varied and refreshing. being more open to all kinds of music styles, appreciating all their differences. results this time round has to be the worst so far in my history in this school. got two H2 Es, an S, H1 D, U and S. have to really chase the ace now. H1 exams at the end of this year, it's no joke. keeping calm and being open about everything. why keep things to yourself. haha. expressing yourself give you confidence and gets you respect. there is no sadness felt in the failures, just a mind bent on doing better. men should be calm and lead their ladies who are supposed to be the more expressive ones. leting go of all dislike and discomfort. appreciating and being open to everything. when you stop being so particular about everything that you do, you lose the agitated feeling and leada more calmer life. once you stop disliking others, you open yourself to others who may like you instead. my stand is to always be calm but work very hard. also once you stop thinking too much about yourself, you become more open to other's thoughts and opinions. makes it easier to connect and communicate as you remove that stereotypical barrier. okay back to hard work and study

2008-07-22T19:47:00.000+08:00

it has been a wearisome journey. especially these few days where the only thing mostly on my mind is studies. i do not feel stressed that i have to do so much work but there is this wearisome feeling. where does it come from. lac of sleep? no exercise? i'm sick of having to deal with people of different opinions on whatever whenever. i'm fine with just leaving them as who they argue they are. i'm more and more at peace with the people in my surroundings, i do not and will not pray god feel any more jealousy, or dislike, or resentment even for whatever the smallest reason in my own opinion. i live by the code of general courtesy and peacemaking. i guess i'm just too weary over studies or whatever else that i would not want to be bothered about such things anymore. love. i'm somehow feelilng the lack of it. maybe good laughter is still there but no love. i'm not saying i do not care for those around me but i feel this stone cold weariness in my heart. it's not as sensitive as it used to, not as feeling as it used to. i have no answer for this though i wish i had a way to get out of this state. i know i have tons of friends and my own family members who care about my well-being. i really really appreciate all the support but this is a battle that i feel i must wage myself. i'm listening to more and more fast paced noisy catchy music to keep me going on in my studying. god help me out of this. will my "misery" be over when the exams are finished? or is it something else that i have to settle. still left unsatisfied typing this post out but o moving on anyway. sighs. i need sighing therapy. haha

2008-07-18T21:30:00.003+08:00

finding ways to keep aleart during my study regimes now. fast paced high energy music seem to help during breaks. a focused mind bent on studying and remembering everything is a must. trying to get as much practice as possible by completing many assignments. nothing much on my mind but that, just study. the usual chat with friends is still there as per normal but unbenificial talk will be entertained less my me now. thinking that good health can also play a part in the success of this study regime. long hours of sitting down and studying are in place but do feel the slight weariness as a result of this. still will go on, no stress, just slight weariness. fully back to my proper self from the stone period. not sure how i got into that period but oh well. it was cool. that's a wrap.

2008-07-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

nothing much has been on my mind so far beside studies. staying up late nights to complete my readings, assignments and revisions. maybe in due time i'll get used to this routine. i have to do it. i need to find every possible time to revise my school work. my stone mode seems to be dissappearing already. more sensitive to the environment once again, but i keep all the good values i learnt during my stone mode. always wanting to become a better person. i know that i am a good person at heart only that due to previous negative factors, i can become not so good. really have to chiong for my H1 exams this year. forget about planning what to do as i think i know what i'm supposed to do to survive. just going from one task to another, one milestone to the next. every little part of the notes that i can get, i'll remember and move on to the next little part to be remembered. yes. going to practice and practice doing exam questions to get myself prepared. i'm sick of planning, i don't want to plan so much. i'll just take whatever comes my way bit by bit till it amounts to a large volume. really appreciate the help of any kind souls along the way. really wanna give a shout out to all the wonderful beautiful ladies that i've met so far. these are ladies that have well, one word from me, class. all the beautiful qualities that they possess are just there. no need for descriptions. i M. Zahier thank all of you for being so wonderful. smiles. *gives an appreciative nod to the ladies* haiz. back to studies and food. food is my fuel for stidies. love it.

2008-07-13T18:30:00.000+08:00

nothing really much to say at the moment. now just concentrating on studies. staying up late nights to complete readings, revision of past topics. getting assignments done as soon as possible. putting all else aside, especially petty emotions. in fact throwing it all away. i'm more less sensitive now. interesting, i seem to be less or not even perturbed by so-called insensitive comments. haha. i do care for those i feel close around me, i am looking for someone who is very sure of herself. i am no longer much bothered about looks anymore, if she has a solid heart, that's all that matters to me. now really just zoning myself to study and study and study. funny, when your so-called cool about things and people around you, you find there is no need to write a blog post about it. as you have no jealousy or hatred or any emotions in you to let it all out on your blog.it's all cool. i guess. haha. still looking for that her in my life. hehe

2008-07-09T20:23:00.000+08:00

things have changed for the better it seems. what was i thinking. i wouldn't really want to lose everything we've built together thus far too. though things are and should be solved, my heart seems to be still a little skeptical of things. for the first time in my life, i am unable to explain this feeling. maybe i too need time to recover and rethink my path ahead for the future. indeed i am more and more happy that i've made many new friends, eve nup till this day, more keep coming. haha. so many things ran through my mind. how i've changed as a person from my first initial stages of my condition till now. how true it is that people around you don't change much, it is you who decides to change and make the world around you seem a better place. what a lesson on jealousy today i had in literature class. jealousy is never caused by the people around you. it is a feeling that comes from within you. it will be non-existent if you yourself do not cause it to arise. jealousy is a base human feeling. people of high status or maturity should not be feeling this kind of feeling. only uneducated barbarians would be feeling this. as said my my teacher. haha. my goal now besides my studies is to throw away all these kinds of base negative human emotions that have plagued me long enough. i tell myself this one word now. i give up. yes i give up. i give up getting angry over nothing. i give up thinking of my differences from others. i'm cooling down. i'm taking life in my own strides. how when i think back, as a result of these base feelings, they prevent me from making out who are my true friends and who are not. i just want to say that i'm sorry to any of my true friends during the course of my life thanks to these base feelings. sorry to my dear family members as well. i feel i've stopped being so hyper anymore. i've toned down, thinking more i guess before i act. may the future be good, may i find that right person one day. well signing off with a piece of good news i guess. i got 23/30 for my econs mid year case study question 1. so far that is the only paper or part paper that i've gotten back. the teacher claims that the highest scoring person for that question comes from my class, and the highest scoring person in my class is me. cool i guess. though this is a piece of very good news, i didn't exactly smile much in my heart about it.

2008-07-06T16:33:00.001+08:00

i called her yesterday with advice from my friend. how i feel i just wanna take back what i said just from hearing her distressed tone. maybe she's right. it could all just be my imagination. i trust her when i heard she said she never meant it to happen that way. as much as i noe i've changed for the better, this distress i feel now might just bring me back to square one. irritating young teachers who think they know everything and are always right doesn't help. i will ride out this distress no matter what. anyone who makes me feel even worse will get it. please smile again my dear pink lady. i'm really sorry to have caused you to feel "unwell". do remember the times when we were good. please don't let this one time cause such a rift. i need you to be happy again. i don't think a day might go by when i don't think of you, wondering if your getting any better. i noe i can be strong. i don't wallow in self-pity any more not as i used to. as much as i have so many other people i can turn to, when they are gone, i will still think of you. so many things i want to say, but saying so much might end up useless if your so far away. do think of me.

2008-07-05T10:25:00.000+08:00

PISCES
[2/19-3/20]- The Partner for Life.
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good
to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good
Sense of Humor. Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Silly,
fun and sweet.
Taken from one of my dear friend's blog post. When i read it, i was shocked to find out that it really does reflect my character in many ways. Caring and kind. I am. I care for my dearest friends, care for all the people who i feel need the attention, those who might lack it or might be going through some troubling times. Kind. I am kind only to those who are kind back to me. Generally yes I put on a calm face to everyone. Kind also in the way that I like to help my friends. Smart. Well i'm smart now as in i think i noe what to study for my exams, what i require in order to do well. Some of my friends call me smart because i know how to answer them back. haha. Center of attention. To me the centre of attention not like as in the person in the group who gets all the attention or admiration. But the centre of attention as in among all my many friends who adore me for my sweetness. Comments I get are like "you are sweet", "you never fail to please me", "you always make me smile and laugh", "you make me blush" etc. I am not trying to boast or what nonsense. This is just a fact of my life. High appeal. Wel from the comments i get i guess i do appeal in a way to some. haha. Has the last word. This i find quite true in fact very indeed. I always want to be the one ending the conversation, always parting with some good or sweet words. I feel bad if i don't end a conversation properly. Good to find, hard to keep. Well again the good part well people always tell me that i make them smile, i become an inspiration for them, i make the mfeel loved etc. Good for them la. haha. But hard to keep. That is true also in a way. Maybe hard because i'm not so an easy person to please. My main source of pleasure is to please others, not myself. And i guess i can get irritated when i see that other people derive their pleasure from someone else and i'm left with no one to please. haha. Fun to be around. Well fun only because i know how to joke, or should i say i like to joke, crack something funny or lame just to hear the person on the other side laugh and giggle. Again back to the fact that i derive pleasure from pleasuring someone else. The extremely wierd part well i can only say is because i can be very random at times. I will just pop up a very unexpected random compliment to my lady friends. haha. I guess wierd but in a good way as it says so. OF course good, because i'm giving compliments. hehe. :P Good sense of humour. Well i guess so, as most times i can get my friends laughing att a joke that i make. haha. Thoughtful. Well i do spare a thought for my friends, think of them, always asking if i see them again if they've been fine and well. Well thoughtful now i think also because even though i may dislike someone for their faults, after some time, i feel i don't want to keep the bad feeling anymore and forgive the person and myself. Always gets what he or she wants. For me the get whatever i want part well is only to make sure i get the person to smile or laugh. I'm not talking about material things like whatever I want. For me get what I want is to just see the person on the other part made happy because of me. Love to joke part is just a repeat, already explained. haha. Silly well i can be silly and lame only because i want to make the people around me laugh and giggle. Only looking for their good humour and not their sarcasm or criticisms. Fun and sweet part well already explained.
I feel i just want to forgive her for her faults. i don't want her to dislike me because i dislike her faults. Maybe i think it could be my own fault too. Besides the fact that i can get irritated some times, i still don't want the irritation to go so far as to cause my friend everlasting hurt. after all the initial disliking when i was initially hurt, after a while i just want to put it all aside and just want to see her smile again. do forgive me my dear friend.

2008-07-03T09:29:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over. ain't gonna talk about it much. just wanna put it all aside and party. well one thing i might want to put out is maybe i need to better manage my time. or maybe practice more so that i can do it quicker. or maybe cram even more knowledge so much that i wil have too much to write and just wasting time thinking will cost me marks. now free to talk about other things. i just wanna say i guess some people are made only for some people and friends who really care about you don't act like a totally different person in front of their other friends and treat you like a stranger just because their friends do not know you? that is just disconcerting. funny how i think some people would wanna hide even the simplest of things for fear maybe of upsetting the stereotypical balance. to hell with stereotypes. what do people take me for. granted? this is what i felt with someone. maybe it could just be me again but i noe i've changed. if someone may seem discontented and just want to walk out for some fresh air, just leave that person to himself won't you? don't even say that your sorry. he didn't even say anything that he was discontented with you. you just made it worse by saying that your sorry. i shall judge for myself those people i can count on as those who i can talk to about everything. though sometimes the person is real in flesh and blood, they might not still seem real enough to be counted as a true and valuable person. i'm not going to try to change other people's faults. if i don't like something, i'll just walk away. i will not stand for something that i cannot take for any longer than i can. i'd rather make more other deserving people happy. i guess it seems true when my other lady friend told me that if ur shy about liking someone, you'll never get that person. haha. cos i think your shyness will just get that person irritated. i mean initially the shyness is adorable and cute. but after some time, come on. give that person a break. if until like still so shy after a long time, that person might think is that person for real. that person wants something tangible to hold on to. not hopeless shy hopes. ah oh well. i'm still enjoying my other lives. hahaha. it's really good to make lots of friends and more than one good friend does not hurt.

2008-06-25T11:21:00.000+08:00

run down of the exam so far. monday had bahasa melayu in the morning and management paper 2 in the afternoon. i could write the essay for my malay paper but hoping that i had enough points. my malay comprehension, idioms, procedure close and fill in the blanks were quite easy. later my management paper in the afternoon. first time in one siting i had to complete one data response and three essays in the second question. the data response was doable, but i only managed t owrite out two complete esssays. only reason being the third essay, well i didn't study for that topic. oh well. haha. tuesday had economics paper 1 in the morning and literature paper in the afternoon. again first time doing two case studies in one sitting for economics paper 1. the first case study was easily done. already had to write out so much for the first case study and yet had one more left to go. the second case study was only farily done as i was unsure of where to find the answers from the extracts and tables. literature paper in the afternoon. first time again doing one poem, one question on Othello and one more on Pride and Prejudice. the poem i had quite a number of things to write. just hope it's all relevant. hehe. i could answer the question on Othello too but hope again that i answered rightly. then my Pride and Prejudice essay was poorly done however. still not well versed in the novel. now two days break before my history paper on friday. gonna prepare for it. hopefully i can answer the questions. study study. hehe. smiles

2008-06-21T17:34:00.001+08:00

been mugging the whole week up till now and will still go on again after i finish typing this little bit. aiming to score for econs and management. my history well i hope i can score for it too. i noe what to study. just hope i have time to study them. i don't care. i will make time if it's the last thing i do. i have set my goals. nothing will stop me till the last moment before the exam. studying is not that hard really. just concentrate on understanding the lecture notes, then make ur own notes. i aim to ace for myself for myself only. to know that i can do the paper. i'm not here to compete with others, to see who can score the highest or all that egoistic bullshit. hehe. wanna say too that it is very warm indeed to have lots of friends around. friends who show just a little concern or just give a little good luck message is good enough for me. helps me get out of my state of anxiety. hehe. and put me back in reality. so warm smiles for all and good luck to all who are taking their exams, to those who are looking for love in all the wrong places. :P to those who think they are facing a complicated life, don't keep it to yourself. do reach out to someone. don't keep the misery. share it and hopefully you'll get some warm comfort back.

2008-06-17T12:10:00.002+08:00

just mugging for the exams that are due next week whe nschool reopens. i noe i can do it. i noe what am i supposed to study, i think i noe what important things are to be remembered. i wil clarify all doubts about any subject and look forward to be tested. i will ace it! grr. hehe. on a side note, it's always nice to make new friends. not just any old fair weather friends but friends you can depend on and confide in. i'm not here to make so so friends anymore. it's either we can get along in some way or were not friends. i'd rather use acquaintances for the rest who are not friends but merely someone that you know for their name perhaps? hehe. i feel that i'm not what i used to be in the past. i'm the new more matured less emotional me! weehee1 and i'm glad. so glad. neh neh. hehe. i can control my emotions better and know my priorities in life. all smiles. i learn how to eb away any discontentment that i have through my own ways. :P but it doesn't mean that i'm okay with everyone. i have my own ideals. i stick to people with similar ideals as me. all the rest can siam or scram in english. :P now back to study. won't have much stories to tell about my adventures till the end of exams perhaps. personal stories have la but shal not be disclosed publicly. :P

2008-06-14T10:21:00.000+08:00

Friday the 13th
bad luck day? nopez.
went to SAVH in the morning to do my final scenes with the hwa chong ppl. they filmed me making my way to the compound, me using the tactiles on the groundto make my way to the entrance. we did some minor scenes that were required to make the film a little more smoother flowing. like some intermission scenes about me saying that i'm going for silat and for classes etc. to make the transition to my classroom scene and silat scenes back then a little more smoother. there was also a scene of me pretending to listen to my portable radio for my 98.7FM scene back then too. the best scene we did yesterday has to be this. we went to this multi-purpose room which had a piano. i was told to bring along a guitar to play. we found another guitar there too. me and my two younger brothers were going to play a song together to the handicapped there! we had a social worker gather the audience of handicapped from various ages. there were young and old ones. i was on the guitar, my youngest brother on the other guitar and my second brother on the piano. we played this song called wonder wall. :Pt i initially didn't want to sing cos i can't sing. but was forced to and ask my brother to sing along too if not the performance might get boring? haha. so we sang, we played our instruments. halfway through the song, the audience started clapping along. hehe. it was starting to become a very warm moment. we got a rousing applause later after we ended and i got a personal thanks from one of the lady audiences there. gee, wished i asked for her number. :P then we too had a meeting to discuss about the advances on the project and future plans for publicity. the hwa chong boy's mentor was there, another project work group also doing something similar about the handicapped for their project was there too and the public relations officer for SAVH was there too at the meeting. we did just one more scene of me visiting the library at SAVH to pretend to borrow an audio book and a descriptive video. audio books are just normal books but read out by someone instead and recorded on compact discs. descriptive videos are movies that have commentary included in them to describe vocally the scene to the visual impared person. after all that, we headed home. we had our lunch at Novena square at KFC. just a tip, don't get the small whipped potato. it's pathetic. just upsize it. i had the fish fillet burger there and it was nice! it tasted just like the zinger burger. spicy and delicious. we made jokes at some funny people we encountered on the way home in the MRT. :P but then we didn't exactly go home straight, it was in the afternoon already and we decided to visit my close lady cousins again.

2008-06-10T11:30:00.000+08:00

realy nothing much happened during weekends. now just in study mood for exams in two weeks time. hope to ace it. brother coming back from aussie trip today in the evening. probably gonna go out and eat after that. then friday tentatively will be going down to SAVH for a newly formed support group meeting. making people smile is happiness for me. to see the mlaugh warms my heart. every person has their own individual attractiveness. may sweetness reign forever. :P

2008-06-06T15:03:00.001+08:00

yesterday initially was thought to have been an uneventful day. was just supposed to wait for silat guru to come in the afternoon to pass him the national uniform. there is a competition this saturday and he needs it. i'm not taking part. and in exchange i got my new silat uniform! it's all black with our school logo on it, singapore silat federation logo on it and some nice design on the back. my name is printed on the collar and also it seems on the white sash or belt that we tie around our waist. cool! the thing is silat guru came by in the evening instead of the afternoon. haha. guess he was busy teaching silat somewhere else. then my day started to get interesting when cousin called asking if she could come to our house cos they were bored at home. my cousins that just came back recently for their semester holiday break from their studies overseas. cousins reached here around 4 in the afternoon, three of them. things we did. watched Horthorn. a nice movie. my littlest cousin was like forcing me to watch the movie and throughout the movie, she was pointing out to me the best parts. she brought the movie of course. haha. aiyo. but it was a nice touching movie i must say. we also played on the electric guitar. my second youngest cousin knows how to play the guitar. what a rocker chick. haha. smiles. plugged the electric guitar into my laptop which has this software that has hundreds of guitar effects you can choose. hehe. third youngest cousin and me were talking about relationships, boys who are not boys but more like girls, about her experiences in her school overseas etc. littlest is 12, second is 14 and third is 15 this year. all my closest lady cousin's from my mom's side. we had a nice dinner with fried noodles, fried rice, fried baked beans, fried eg bread, fruit juice with fruits inside, chocolate eclairs etc. their parents, my auntie and uncle came over too after their work. today is my youngest brother's birthday. he has turned 17 this year. i pray for him for his studies, may he do well at the end of this year. i pray on my part to be a better older brother towards him. smiles.

2008-06-04T11:13:00.001+08:00

Tuesday 3 June
had holiday history classes on monday and yesterday was the continuation of monday's class. things to comment on mondays class: it was quite a peaceful class. though there were a significant number of people about a full housed class, it was generally participative and yet quiet at times. factors that could brought about it: 1. teacher had a sore throat and her voice was soft and terribly ugly and so class had to keep quiet in order to hear her. 2. the weather that day was not bad and maybe plus the fact that everyone was in the holiday mood and so maybe not really paying attention in class and day dreaming. 3. it was actuall y a combined class so students of different classes not knowing each other and not geting a long, all in their own world. yesterday's class was where the hwa chong boys did the filming. spent some quality time with pink lady yesterday. her scent attracts me. then when the hwa chong boys came in the afternoon, we filmed a cene of me coming down from the van, a scene of me walking from the foyer to the main staircase, a scene of me walking up the staircase to be greeted by two beautiful ladies hehe to help me get to class and a sscene of the three of us making our way into the classroom. then the classroom scene where they recorded the teacher giving her lecture, recorded me typing out notes on my laptop and recorded the teacher helping me out. all in all it was a very enriching experience and i am talking about the history class as i learned a lot of skills. hehe. smiles for my pink lady.

2008-06-01T17:54:00.001+08:00

didn't do much for weekend, just stayed at home revising and doing homework. really believing that with constant practice, we will get better in whatever we do. going to make all my subjects of study all a cinch for me. just settling some personal matters, people of different views and perceptions and goals in life mix with the same as them. i am who i am. i think what i think, i do what i do, i find people who are my type. the rest are just dust in the wind. lol. more friends also means more responsibilities. keeping more secrets, sharing more personal expereinces. wah, looks like i wrapped up all i had to say today. lol. i mea nif anyone wants to know the proper details, drop me a message. okay so the week ahead i have History holiday classes, one of the classes i mean of the two will be used to film my school scene with the Hwa chong boys. and my dearest youner brother will be going to Australia in that week too. and one of my lady friends will be going to Japan in that week too. lol. well, may next week be a better week, full of study. gotta start already. haha. smiles for myself and for pink lady. smiles

2008-05-30T00:04:00.001+08:00

wednesday went to visit cousins at their house. second youngest cousin is growing taller than her sister. both of them are fine and well. sadly the eldest couldn't come bakc as she had to stay on to finish up her year. hope she is fine too. had trouble trying to fix back their internet as i'm unsure of where the problem lay. we had fun playing video games. looks like second eldest cousin doesn't know how to drive in Crazy Taxi. hehe. So was she at Jet Grind Radio when she couldn't get to spray paint the wall just because she didn't look out for the icon that will pop up saying that you can press the left trigger button to spray. She kept coming in last at Daytona Usa but after several tries, she did improve. haha. Then in House Of The Dead, the girls were all screaming to shoot the zombies. lol. Then in the evening, we all went out to eat. We had KFC. haha. The cheese fries are excellent as usual. But actually it's not that hard to make that kind of tasty cheese fries. The chicken is okay, not that great, a little salty though. Then today as in Thursday just stayed at home and did random stuff. that's a wrap.

2008-05-27T15:50:00.003+08:00

sunday's filming at my home was cool. i had to be interviewed yet again. we did a family scene and a scene of me walking down to the van to pretend to go to school. seriously. talking in front of the camera is not easy for me. and plus the number of takes that had to be done to correct minor flaws in the shooting. i wish it were all over. i noe i'm doing it for a greater cause but i'm like so tired out from it. hehe. monday did not do much, was at home all the while. had fried half spring chicken with rice and fries for lunch. then had mengaji class in the evening. then today in the evening i'm going out to confirm my religious classes. gonna get a cert, gonna be good in agama as well as dunia. i am here against all odds and i'll be here to lead on the good struggle. smiles to foes and friends alike

2008-05-25T11:01:00.000+08:00

Friday, 23 May
the last day of the second school term. holidays ahead. last day PE there was no real lessons but just some briefing. so i went to have break instead. i had rice with hotdogs, fish balls, fried eggs and spicy beef cuts. then literature lesson we continued our Pride and Prejudice text. was interviewed by a Project Work group who are also now my friends. smiles. maybe the more interviews i do, the better i'll become. haha. then some time later, after meeting pink lady once again, smiles, i had to pick up the Hwa Chong boys at the school gate. school ended earlier than normal that day because of some "eat with your family' day thing. seriously, i eat with my family like everyday. haha. so because of that, we had our silat outside of school at some multi-purpose hall near to West Mall. oh the number of filmings that had to be done not counting the many-many pictures that were taken by the boys. haha. i'm too tired to write every little detail that happened. if anyone wants to know more, just ask me again. smiles. all i can say is that day was quite a tiring but fulfilling day. it's nice to exert yourself to the best that you can do and coming home feeling satisfied that you did your best. and also they celebrated our silat coach's 45th birthday after that. may he live a long and happy life. the cake was delicious and the fried bee hoon noodles and fries were tasty. came home feeling tired out like i've never felt so tired out before.
Saturday, 25 May
saw pink lady online as usual. smiles. had best friend come over once again. we jammed together. i just love distortion. still loking for the perfect guitar distortion sound for me. kinda fun to jam along to backing tracks. we played Metallica, Alien Ant Farm and Deep Purple. then we played some video games. then around 4pm plus we went out to eat at Sempang Bedok. the food there is good though it is abit ex. i had my cheesy beef sausage pasta with creamy mushroom carbonara sauce. it tasted exquisite. hehe. i would think that my crazy pal would like it for sure. hehe. and each of us had two drinsk each. no kidding. one was more of a dessert and the other was the drink. i had honey dew juice and chocolate banana milkshake as dessert. the honey dew juice was fresh and the milkshake was super sweet and yummy. my best friend had seafood pasta and bangers and mash as a side order. i was just wondering too why they call a dish with three kinds of hotdogs and mashed potatoes as bangers and mash. we thought of a lewd joke on why they call the hotdogs bangers. hehe. won't share it here, you gotta ask me. my friend had milo dinosaur and chocolate milkshake? haha. i forgot what milkshake he had. hehe. i was very full after that. i had slight difficulties walking and talking too. hehe. but the food was great. smiles. then we headed home while talking about his experiences and journies in NS Civil Defense. on the way home near my house, we thought we found a dead parrot lying on the ground near the bus stop. it was a green parrot very native to Singapore. but when my friend got a closer look, he found that it was still alive and breathing very fast. it must have been scared by us. my friend saw that it could not move or stand up. it was lying on it's side. it's feet was all curled up. we decided to pick it up and place it at a more prominent place so that people who walk by do not accidentally step on it. poor little parrot. it was breathing and alive but it did not move much. i managed to touch it. how touched i felt for it. such a cute little thing. we thought we couldn't do much for it except to put it at a more deserving place. so we put it at the top of one of the benches near the bus stop. then we headed home to my place. we played more video games, searched for his favourite fish hobby stuff online, listened to some classic love songs from Mr. Big and laughed to some funny country songs. hehe. he was still playing Street Fighter on my computer while i was already lying on my bed. hehe. just had to lie down. i even dozed off for a while while keeping him company. :P He finally decided to go off around 10pm plus. it was a great day with him. then when i went to the toilet to wash up, my brother told me to call him back when i came out. i was thinkking maybe he forgot and left something at my house. then when i called him back, he said he wanted to tell me about the parrot that we left at the bench. he said now it can stand up on it's two feet and looking more better. i was like aww! that is nice to hear. what a nice way to end a tiring day. hehe. again yesterday i felt so tired that i wanted to go to sleep but i went online just to see if there's anyone. then i found pink lady online again. hahaz. and i saw her pm. it was something about her waiting in silence but in malay. i was thinking could it be for me? then we chatted again and she said she had indeed been waiting for me to chat with me some more before she went to bed. haha. how romantic i thought. hehe. :P suddenly i lost some of my tiredness and we chatted till the early hours. haha. well, another sweet ending to the day. and today i have to do yet another filming with the Hwa Chong boys who are coming over to my house. well another story for the next post. smiles .

2008-05-22T12:40:00.001+08:00

at home. didn't go school yet again. cause is my stomach aches. could be direa. sorry if the spelling is wrong. been having stomach cramps all through this week. going polyclinic later to get MC. suddenly i thought of the cause for it. could be due to me drinking tap water too much. i've been taking tap water like my normal drinking water recently. i would think Singapore's tap water should be safe. gues not. oh well, no more tap water for me. hopefully is the tap water and not something else which i am not currently aware of. quite a number of ladies in my life but not sure who'll be the one. well, i treat every one differently and specially. that's all that matters to me. june holidays are coming. using it to revise mainly, maybe go out one or two days, attending all the holiday classes. stomach still hurting.

2008-05-19T17:35:00.001+08:00

went to the Singapore Zoo this morning. it has been a very long time since we last visited that place. about 14 years ago was the last time. haha. so looks like the place has really gone through so many changes since our last visit. before eve nentering, we were shuffled by one of the photographers there it seems who asks to take a family photo of us. there were many animals to be seen there. i don't remember the list of animals that came first but we saw camelids, a species of camel, wallabies, look like small kangaroos, white tigers, very ycool, tortoises, seals, who were always swimming in the water, so were the hippos who were always in the water, polar bears! funny i thought when the polar bears were kept cool by a cold mist created by fans and cooled water. i thought they should be inside a fridge kinda place. we saw foxes, brown foxes with bushy tails, some thing about the dominant male fox making a scent to mark his territory, we saw flamingoes standing typically on one leg. haha. the crocodiles were sleeping, the elephants were eating bananas and spraying sand over their backs. there were babons, monkeys but they didn't put up much of a show. there was a sign asking us to spot the cheetah. good cheetah, good at camouflaging itself amongst the trees and shrugbs. the cameleon behind the glass window matched it's surrounding perfectly. but we missed the giraffes, zebras and horses though not sure if they had horses there too. we actualy brought packed food along to eat in there but in the end we couldn't find a proper place to eat there. the souvenir shop had key chains, fridge magnets, lots of fluffy toys. found something pink that pink lady might like but couldn't get it cos i was broek. darn. oh well. haha. i thought of all the fluffy toys as good bed toys for little children. food and drinks were quite expensive. compare 2 dollars for a canned drink there with a 1 dolllar plus drink at any other neighbourhood place. and oh yeah. there were lots of foreigners there too. i had to "suffer" listening to all the different slangs of english. haha. all in all, it was an educational and enlightening experience. then we went to visit grandma for awhile then we headed home. smiles

2008-05-18T15:11:00.000+08:00

went for band concert yesterday. tickets were 6 bucks each, kinda stil ex for me though. oh well. went with my aunt, uncle and one cousin. miss my cousin. haven't seen her in a while. she's seems fine as always. haha. smiles. concert started at about 5pm plus. i liked the third piece the best. then when the song American River Song came along, i listened out for my friend's trumpet solo. the song was catchy. don't wanna even talk about the special performance that was included. all i just wanna say about it is sorry karaoke is not my kind of show to watch. lol. overall the crowd ended up entertained in the end. crowd was kinda quiet at the beginning but people started making noise towards the end. so i guess everyone enjoyed themselves. i did too in a way. haha. met pink lady after the concert, she's fine and well. then we went for dinner! i tell you, we drove to two of our favourite eating haunts only to find that they were closed. undergoing some renovation of some sort. auntie said maybe the places too filthy already. so we went to eat somewhere else where i got to eat baked cheese mushroom sauce spaghetti. one word. delicious! plus usually bandung. my typical hawker drink. lol. then we went home and that's it for yesterday. lol.

2008-05-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

okay scrap the blog post about my trip to 98.7FM and Soo Wei. anyone wanna know, just ask me personally. all i can say was that it was a valuable experience. i had my silent moments there, forgot my lines and etc. haha. well zoom forth to today. monday classes as usual, met friends after school. lol. oh yeah she actually recorded my 98.7 on air. i told her like last minute about me going on air, like on the day itself, she actually listened to it, even recorded it. haha. wow. haha. well don't feel like posting long stories. because, mid-year exams are coming! got GP paper this friday. the rest of the papers are like after the Jue holidays. so gotta revise, cram in brain, stay up late, drink coffee, plan, memorise, practice, skill learning, all the crap needed to ace it. haha. well, to studies and to more sweet moments. hehe. smiles smiles

2008-05-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is my trip to Mediacorp Radio. i am commemorating Mother's Day by going on live on Perfect10 98.7FM to wish my mom happy mother's day and dedicate a song to her. they want me to play my guitar live on radio? change plan. i'll just dedicate a song and the guitar playing can be filmed with my band when we go jamming or something. whoever wants to know what's going on in my life right now can just ask me personally. cos i don't think i've been keeping up with my channel 5 show earlier on. all i noe is that i'm going on Perfect10 with Soo Wei, one of the DJs. good luck to me. haha. probbly have to put on my best persona. here goes nothing. sore throat finally healing i think. phew. that's it for now. smile smiles.

2008-05-07T09:49:00.000+08:00

at home today. not goin school. couldn't hold out sore throat any longer. since last friday. goin to get MC from the polyclinic for today and goin back school tomorrow. just gotta see her again. she's sweet, but i'm sick. not sick as in what but i'm ill. if only this ill would go away. i wanna feel her again. feel that happy sweet feeling. gonna call up and tell some ppl that i'm not in school today. just in case i missed anything for today. now gotta finish up my homework that is late, one particular homework. using this ill time at home to finish it, school is sometimes so noisy that i can't do my homework there. haha. better get it done before teacher disturbs me about it anymore. smiles.

2008-05-05T21:20:00.002+08:00

zombie feeling throughout the day. was oblivious to most people and surroundings. made another new friend today or should i say got to know her better, she's cute. she gave me jemput-jemput and fish nugets to eat. they would have tasted nicer only if i wasn't sick. yes still had my slight sore throat today. then some project work group wanna interview me. so now i got two interviews to deal with, one tied to mediacorp the other is our school based graded project work. i'm still coughing. cough cough. oh well. gotta do my assignment anyhow. haiz.

2008-05-03T15:21:00.002+08:00

went for sports day heats yesterday after school. was att the school stadium all the way till 6pm. so didn't go for silat. looks like i was registered only for short put. got my tag number, had to clip it to my PE shirt. went for short put at the field below, tried out on our own first on throwing the ball. then we had the actual qualifying rounds. teacher put 10 meters as the length to qualify. only one ot wo persons managed to get the ball that far, it was a 5 kg ball. so teacher dropped the qualifying length to 8 meters. but i still did not get in. oh well. haha. i threw about 7.4 meters. oh well, then i went back to the stadium to relax and watch the other participants for the other field and track events. sadly i didn't hear many names being called out to run for my house. oh well. haha. my house sucks anyway. after that was up there all the way chatting with my half chi-malay friend. haha. she came from the library as she said she was feeling a little sick. we chat chat, went to the canteen to get some food, came back, then chat again. all the wile too keeping up with what was going on in the sports heats events. then my dad came went home, said goodbye to my lady friend. the nhalfway in the trip home in the van, i started a sore throat. but today feeling better after i had my peppermint drink i mean bubble tea peppermint flavour. well at least i think it helped. haha. okay so tired posting. wanna relax and do some homework later. cya. smile smiles

2008-05-01T17:52:00.000+08:00

really noticing a trend in the ways of the opposite sex. now i understand better and not getting so confused and uptight about things. haha. yupz, it's all just fine. there's always a special in another way. okay so today went out to get new guitar strings and locks for my guitar strap. you see it keeps coming off cause the belt hole is torn too wide already. but with the lock, it stays there. cool. now i can rock and jump around and not worry about my guitar falling off my hands. that would be a bummer if that happens. haha. but then again i can't help but feel a little dissapointed and jealous of the ways of our ladies. oh well! let it be for it is their nature. haha. so yeah now one with studies. i wanna do my very best, i wanna be the best only for myself. the future is mine to rule! :P

2008-04-29T22:33:00.000+08:00

feeling kinda stratched out these days. maybe because of the increasing number of work given. also the weather to me seems to play a part in this lethargic uncomfortable feeling. started typing this out like before dinner, then halfway called for dinner, and now i'm back typing, after chatting online.. and now i wanna put down something else. haha. felt like crap just now but now suddenly feeling slightly better. maybe it's because of the food i ate which was quite filling for dinner, yong tau fu. or maybe because too i saw her online out of my other friends who were online who bugged me once i came back. haha. oh well, i better do my homework. sighs... i can do it. haha.

2008-04-27T07:42:00.000+08:00

AKE angklung kulintang ensemble concert yesterday was calming, merry, enriching ec. the first two song sthey played were local favourites. i couldn't help but smile to myself thinking "oh my god do they have to play these songs" haha as usual our local songs are so cheesy. the beautiful part of all the songs that they played was the enveloping effect of the music. it really was loud enough to cover the entire theatre. in our school we call it the Centre Stage. i was sitting near the left corner of the Centre Stage with my parents. wwe saw my brother come out to take turns with the rest of the AKE members to play the different instruments mainly the angklungs, kulintangs, percussion, vibraphone, glockenspeil etc. mom was impressed by brother of course. haha. there was one interesting segment of the show which was called Nursery rhymes. what they do is they use their instruments to help tell the story of the nursery rhymes for eg the first nursery rhyme they showcased. it was Hickery Dickery Dock the mouse ran up the clock rhyme. the rhyme was said out by someone, the actions were made into sounds using the instruments. there was this instrument which was used to show the sound of the mouse running up the clock and coming down. when the mouse runs up, this instrument went from low right up to a high pitch and vice versa when it was coming down. there was also this instrument which was used as the chime sounds of the clock when it struck 12 etc. it was very interesting and cute. cute because they used these little cushion thing you know when you squeeze them they make that sqweaky sound which was supposedly to be the sound of the mouse. haha. they had volunteers from the audince to take part in this segment. overall the concert was fun. the music they played got progressively louder and faster right up till the last song which was a dance number. my dear friend couldn't go because she misplaced her ticket. if she did and if they let her in even without a ticket, she would find a place because not all the seats were filled. oh well, i tried the best i can to describe the performance to her later on. always smiling for her and endeavouring to help my friend in any way i can. she brings to me a sweet happiness that i can't describe. it's just a nice feeling. haha. okay homework time, gotta scan some of my notes in. smiles for the days ahead. :)

2008-04-24T20:34:00.000+08:00

didn't go for silat yesterday as i had little mood that day due to my uncle's passing away. yes my youngest uncle who died from cancer. he was quite a close uncle to me. having stayed with him before and so forth. well may he rest in paece now. seriously i felt out of place on wednesday and this morning. oh uncle passed away on tuesday night. but i started feeling better right after the temperature started to drop and it began to rain this morning. also maybe because i got to see her again? seriously i had no mood then to study, to revise or to do any homework. well now i have homework and i'm gonna finish it no matter what. i wanna do well, i wanna be good enough for myself. i don't compare myself with others. to me i noe myself if i'm doing things right or not. guess in the end there is really truely only one that i am going after? how fair she is. her sweet voice, her cute giggles, how i'd wanna make sure she does well in her studies too, help her in whatever way i can. for now i'm just really really superly glad that i'm her friend. haha. cos really, we learn to appreciate the little things first and that's all. okay now back to study and life. haha. gotta plan my life if i wanna succeed in everything that i do. smiles for a happy future. cya!

2008-04-22T19:57:00.001+08:00

muscles finally becoming less strained. maybe thanks to me always eating alot. haha. i feel i just have to eat more the more pain i feel in my muscle. lol. school days are quite fine so far, was confident of answering management test on Monday, today due to lack of sleep last night, i felt lethargic during classes. but not to worry, i didn't miss much of the lessons. met her on monday and met her again today. it's a nice feeling being around her, i'd wanna help her in any way i can to make sure she's doing well in school stuff. do i like her? well for now i'm just happy that we're friends. maybe i do like her? stop pestering me about it okay my other friend. haha. so the more i think about her means i like her meh. haha. okay okay. i dunno what to say, i dun wanna say anything, all i noe is that i'm feeling peaceful inside. i'm making good friend with other ladies too but i guess there'll only be one lady for me. haha. finaly someone you don't have feelings for immediately at first sight? but the feeling can build up over time. that's what i call a proper way of getting a gal? lol. okay okay wanna stop thinking about this, i got my homework and scanning to do. haha. nights.

2008-04-19T21:08:00.001+08:00

aching muscles again after gym workout. so working with free weights actually makes you develope your muscles faster cos teacher said it allows you to self balance yourself when you do the weights. biceps hurting right now. maybe made worsened by the push ups i had to do during silat. silat that day we had games instead for a change. we played captai's ball. my shy friend called me again right after my silat training again, wished her a safe journey home. today went to school for short put and carom practice. short put was okay, tried throwing a heavier ball. i shall try and run next time when i throw it. maybe it'll go further. met her again after her band practice just for a short chat. gee, how i really appreciate her presence. haha. i'd wanna help her in anything that she needs help in. smiles to her and all my friends. okay tired. haha. nights.

2008-04-16T21:39:00.001+08:00

today silat was cool. learned to remember some of my previously learnt tunggal moves better.my poor cute friend, got reprimanded by a PE teacher. i wonder what was she reprimanded for. i'll call her up soon and ask her. then i hear that this PE teacher is racist and before that i heard that this PE teacher is also a pervert. dunno about him, though i'm concerned about the matter. take care okay ladies? called her up yesterday, she made my day because i managed to make her laugh with the sillly things i joke with hher about. haha. sat with her today after school. maybe i'll call up my shy lady friend tonight again, hope she's not tired. haha. heard from my friend that she was watching me while i was doing silat. haha. another lady friend of mine is good at the piano, met up with her to go and play the piano today. she got all nervous cause sudddenly a lot of people came up to us. haha. all my nice friends. lol. okay going to eat dinner. cya

2008-04-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

5.50pm currently in the van on the way home. Muscles finally healing, not much pain lef, ready to rock out at the gym again. She didn't come to school today, gonna call her later tonight to see how's she doing. She's a very sweet girl, glad that i'm her friend. how do you build closer relationships? Keep calling and disturbing the person! haha. Nah, to me, in my opinion, just find ways to keep the ties alive that's all. My cute friend is still too shy to approach me. haha. But we can chat over the phone like normal leh. haha. oh well. Didnt' actually start out today with the right positive emotions in the morning due to again that "no one wants to help me feeling" but nah I'm okay lah. haha. Really, if no one can help me, I'll do it myself. I'd rather walk myself then have to wait for someone to help me. Stop it friend, if you can't help me, don't go around asking other's if they are free. I'm really better off walking myself then on the way if someone wants to help me, then I'll go wwith that person. Prefer volunterism to required assistance. It seems more sincere to me. Please, I'm independent, I don't need much help anymore only a little and especially not from that "group" that I talk about some time ago. People wanna go against me, that's their own problem. I am damn happy with my life now and gonna have a blast of a future. Can't wait to see my special darling tomorrow after school. Wanna share with her so many crazy things. haha. Well that's a wwrap of today, got homework as usual and going to score for my H1 exams this year. smiles for all those who need smiles. cya.

2008-04-12T15:12:00.000+08:00

Muscle aches. Everytime you push for a heavier weight at the gym, your muscle will ache the next day. teacher says these aches are a good sign that your muscle will grow as you keep pushing to try heavier weights as your muscles get used to it. c'mon, my "anorexic" friend, you can just run or something to lose some weight. don't need to go gym lor if ur afraid of putting on muscle. haha. yesterday silat was good, learnt more steps for my tungal. improved on some parts, learned many more steps but i'm forgeting them already. haha. gee, yup, i'm just learning to appreciate ladies for their sweetness, nothing else. no emoing here. lol. it's a nice feeling you know, when you know. lol. went to school just now, a friend said got house practice, but when i went there, there was none. haha. oh well, i got to self-study anyway. now i know on saturday's the school facilities are mostly all closed. darn. i was walking all around school looking for a nice place to study. haha. oh well. smiles. okay the end. :P

2008-04-10T04:15:00.001+08:00

Okay, I confess I'm starting to like this lady. Maybe only a little bit. haha. I like her sweet voice, I like that she sounds quite open with me, and I like the fact that I can make her laugh at my own creticisms of myself. Yesterday promised to meet this other lady for recess and she did come after all. Now this other lady is musically inclined. I brought my guitar to school yesterday and she played it quite well. I was impressed. Okay after actualy getting to sit down with her and spend some time with her, I find that she is cute actually and nice. The thing that made me think that she was even cuter was the fact that she whispered in my ear to tell me something. Can't tell anyone what was that as as she swore me to secrecy. lol. Then after school, I actually called that lady friend who says she likes me. I called her just before she started her CCA at 5pm. I called her twice but she didn't answer. At first I thought that she had my number so she knew that I was calling her and she didn't wanna answer cos she was still too shy. haha. But when I got back home then at about 7.30pm she called back. Looks like she didn't have my number as she was asking who was this who called her just now. When I told her it was me, Zahier, there was like a second's silence. haha. My other friend, I hope to be her good friend too as i really wanna learn some drumming styles from her. She's a very nice girl actually though she keeps saying that she's defensive and all that. haha. It's nice to hang out with someone with a more mature voice so that I don't sometimes keep thinking that I'm chatting with some sweet young thing. lol. She's my kinda lady too when I feel like crapping about society with. God I love waking up in the wee hours to do my work and to iron my uniform. hah hah. lol

2008-04-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

My life to me is getting more and more interesting everyday. When will I get to meet this gal who likes me so much. I feel I really care for this other lady friend of mine who really deserves such great love and care. I'd do anything just to see that she is happy. This another lady friend of mine too is easy to relate with. Can't wait for the time when she can teach me some drumming. haha. I too can't wait to try out the bass guitar of this other lady friend of mine. A Jazz bass! Must be something cool. haha. If what my friend say is true of this lady friend of mine the one who I think deserves such love and care, I would wanna share in her troubles. Think I wouldn't bear to see her in despair. Tomorrow I'm meeting another lady friend to accompany her for her break. This lady friend I think is cool. Hope to get to know her better tomorrow. Another lady friend of mine just sounds so cute over the phone. She has such a cute voice. Hope the stuff I burned for her works out fine. I'm just gonna forget about the pass and move on. Thanks you guys for the things you have done for me, now it's my turn to do things for others. Seriously this year I feel I will have less and less peace. haha. All because I now have friends almost everywhere in school. haha. Actually not even almost everywhere. I still do have my peace time from time to time. haha. may this year and future years be the ultimate thrill ride for me. May studies always be my main priority and may other things just hover around it or just supplment it's process. smiles

2008-04-05T18:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's silat training was cool. I was placed inside a ring of chairs at the corner of the hall to practice my Regu. To see if I could do my Regu moves without going out of the line. Dang, I felt liked a trapped animal thanks to my friend la. haha. I was like telling my friend please get out of Zahier's cage. lol. Practice practice, then coach came. Coach showed me how to do my moves better. It was cool. He was like telling me do like this, imagine i'm hitting my opponent this way ect ect. I like the way he shows me the move and he will like shout out. Like power seh. hahaha. Then water break then more arts movement traning by my silat senior. Really I don't feel anything or care when that girl is around laughing and having fun. haha. I just do what I gotta to do and yeah. haha. Thne coach taught me again on my moves. Looks like he scolded me but I really didn't notice la. haha. I mean I didn't feel anything. All I know is that I had to do the move right, remember what I'm supposed to do and give my best shot. Then went home with good friend. Looking forward to so many things. Looking forward to a good long lasting friendship with my new silat mates. Looking to meet this mysterious lady friend who admires me. lol. Looking to jam together with my new band mates. Looking forward to appearing on telivision but that will still require some work. lol. Looking to one great day after another, but not forgetting my studies. haha. Looking to ace all my subjects. I will do whatever it takes to get what I want for my grades. Looking forward to becoming so happy and calm because I have so many friends. lol. But love? Nah, we'll see. Really I think a relationship would be taxing as already I have responsibilities towards my close friends. haha. We'l see who falls first. Not me for sure. No way! hahaha. Okay got to go, going to go jalan-jalan tonight with family. hehe. Cya!

2008-04-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

Silat on Wednesday was sorta tiring and out of breath and black out syndrome for me. I think is due to me seriously not drinking enough water. Really, I only drink when I feel thirsty. At first I was thinking maybe my stamina dropped. Okay, I'll make sure I hit the gym treadmill and machines at least once a week. Seems like me and ex-friend and her other friend are cool. maybe whatever happened was for a reason or should I say for the good. I hope she's fine in her world as I am now. haha. Gee, I didn't know i could make so many friends in less than two weeks. haha. Please don't tell me there is more to come or I'l faint. lol. nah just kidding. haha. One lady after another wanna get to know me. What am I? lol. Cool. I'm starting to really love my life in school. haha. Maybe cos if the fact that I know more and more people in school, maybe the fact that I'm more confident, maybe the fact that I'm less of an inwardly angry person i dunno, could be mixed. haha. Is it me or are more and more Singaporean kids are of mixed blood and mixed parentage. I don't like this idea that just because someone is of mixed blood, they are stereotyped to be full of themselves. No they are not, they are normal like you and me. Please stop calling me lady killer okay my friend? haha. I'm only just making friends what. haha. I feel that life in the future will be super great for me. Oh i wanna say too. You idiots better stop referring to me as the blind guy. No respect. How dare you say that? Maybe you don't have any vocabulary. But then again your just saying that cause you don't have anything else to say. I can understand. As long as no one looks down on me, everything will be fine. But if i hear anyone making fun of my ways, I can only say that you are just dumb cos you don't understand how i work. If I hear anyone stereotyping any of my friends or disturb my friends in any way, I'll give you something to remember alright. Okay better now, let out stress. lol. Nah, my heart is calm about everything actually. I've never felt so calm before! This is a breakthrough. Okay, i wanna go back to helping my friend with her homework. lol. See ya. smiles

2008-04-01T21:27:00.000+08:00

April Fools! Whole day thought of it, prepared myself to expect a joke, thought of my own jokes, heard some jokes done on others today. I didn't get a single joke or did any joke to anyone for that matter. haha. The only "joke" I did was to give my friend a chocolate bar and said April Fools. lol. I was thinking forget about jokes and all this crap. I just wanna give as in give gifts. lol. One interesting April Fool's joke. Buy the normal Oreo biscuits, take out the cream filling, and replace teh filling with Wasabe sauce! lol. My friend got a taste of it alright. haha. Lucky he tasted it before I did. haha. All I just wanna say is sucker! hahaha. But on another serious note. There was another April Fools joke that I am really pissed about. This guy from our school, a first year, did this. he bought a drink, went to the toilet, EJACULATED in the drink, passed the drink to a gal, and she unknowingly drank it. If I find out who that guy is, I'll break his balls with my cane. That is so sick. I was thinking what is happening to our Singaporean society today. Anyway what's up with my life? Oh nothing much, making more and more friends as I go along in school, finally having my own group of close friends, looking to a very busy future and I mean busy, no more peace for me. haha. So yeah, tomorrow have silat CCA, gotta burn something for this lady, thinking of bringing my guitar tomorrow and yeah enjoy school life.. lol

2008-03-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

went to school early morn for house practice. I thought it was only for two houses but there was a third house also. Thought I was only going to take part in short put but then I decided to take the other two field events being javelin and discus. Forget about discus, I can't seem to hold the discus properly so I can't even throw it properly. Short put was nice. It's been a long time since I held the short put ball last time being in primary school. Last time I could barely hold it up for too long but now it really isn't that heavy anymore. Not bad ah the weight. I could throw it quite far with little efffort. Well at least I hope it went far. haha. The javelin pole was very light, only problem is to get it to land head first after you throw it. Made more new friends during the field events practice. Cool. More ladies. hehe. Ex-friend actually said hi to me during the session. That's cool. Seriously. At least now I can forget about feeling awkward when I'm close to her. She is still so sweet in my eyes la. Oh well, that was a nice unexpected thing. Anyway gotta source out for more movies for my friend too. She has a PSP, she wants to buy a metallic cover for it. Oh I'll source out the videos for her alright. I don't do it just because we're friends lor. I like her too. haha. After house practice, I went out for lunch with my soon-to-be band members and other new friends. I feel like I'm making friend after friend. haha. We went to West Mall to eat at KFC. Funny thing la. I took out 10 bucks, she too took out 10 bucks. Then we both had the same drink. Not sure whether the buddy meal was really a cost saver but no one complained. Now this lady is mixed blood just like my ex-friend. Oh yeah we had a good time laughing and talking at KFC well after we finished eating. This guy friend of mine cannot stop blushing everytime he gets praises and stuff. lol. So cute la. haha. After KFC, everyone had their seperate ways to go. One had to go buy a hockey stick, another wanted to go home and do work, another had church group meeting. I went off with her and her good friend. I guess I can understand why some people are just worried and concerned for other's safety. Oh well but hey, it turned out fine. haha. Had a long talk on the way home in the MRT, one telling the other how the other looked like, about one's past expereince in the music industry etc etc. haha. Reached safely home, had a few hours before knowing that I had to go off with my family to visit grandma. Grandma's fine. Well good night blog, I'm tired, see you another day. lol. :P

2008-03-28T20:24:00.001+08:00

Silat training today was cool. Continued my learning of the "Regu" and some fine tunings on some earlier movements. PE today was also cool, while the rest were doing their games, I was busy training with one of the PE teachers. Talk about one on one training. If only there was still a better way for me to run on the track. Forget about running on the treadmill. I find it so fake though it does give you exercise no doubt. Plus the fact that the school gym is air-conditioned. I want free open air, under the sun, to be able to run on my own freely and not being pushed like how it feels on the treadmill. I'll probably need my own money or sponsorship to build a little raised line which i can use to follow to run on my own on the track. Maybe I'll try running with someone when I find a suitable volunteer. The one where there is this band which ties around both our wrists and we basically run together side by side. I want to run with my best friend but then again he is taller and larger than me. lol. School life is okay, need to do my own revision in order to get everything the teacher says. Also need to complete some assignments during this weekend that I have yet to hand up. haha. Tomorrow going for house practice, then meeting my future band mates to discuss about the band. I thought it was just going to be that but then she invited me to have lunch as well. haha. I just gotta get to know more of this girl. I too need to talk with the drummer as well. Well, to a better tomorrow. haha. smiles

2008-03-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

Met up with Hwa Chong boys today for an interview. If this all works well, I might just end up on the telly. Missed today's silat training due to this. Making more and more friends as I go along my work and also forging better and closer friendships. There seems to be this person who I feel is like trying to get to me. What could she want. I've only been friends with her for only about a week or so. Have to finish up my Literature assignment by tonight or I'll be in for detention the next day. I have to put a band together now. Hope I get a reply from the drummer soon, going for a jamming sesssion this Saturday. Is it just me or is this lady like always speaking to me in a slurry saucy kinda tone. haha. Like every time I get to talk to her on the phone, she speaks in that kinda like speaking not so straight kinda tone. Maybe it's just the way she speaks that's all. haha. Sure, I hope to see her again soon. Seriously I feel that this year for me is going to be one hard hectic ride. What with CCA, assignments, friends, probably band commitments, girlfriend? lol, PE, so many many things. Seriously I feel like I'm doing way more stuff than normal people. haha. I've never felt so much alive before. I feel great, I feel turned on, I feel like yeah! This is going to be one fun hard ride. lol. Okay, end of post. Gotta do my homework now. No way I'm going for detention. haha.

2008-03-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

Today. nothing much to say. haha. Someone's mother's birthday is tomorrow, hope her surprise works out well. haha. I can't wait for tomorrow PE. Want to exercise and exercise. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really in silat. Need to get in contact with a certain her to ask her how she wants her movie. Talked to another her yesterday, she was going to Suntec when I called her. Called another her like about three times in a day. haha. Still looking for a band member. So that her that I called three times yesterday her mother has a shop in I forgot where already. haha. But I'll be sure to drop by one day. Also really hope to meet that her who went to Suntec City yesterday too. Really realy think of extending this relationship. To me, she feels like another equal from another life. haha. Then nnow there are two hers who one talks to me like she's my mother and the other is like a big sister to me. haha. These two I swear if I'm always in contact with them, I'll turn out a saint. lol. Nah just kidding. hehe. This other her also I'm hoping to see her again, haven't seen her for quite some time already. She likes to sing and enjoy herself. I can't blame her. Another her also I'm hoping to take photos with her then people will think how come I have a chinese sister. haha. So many hers in my life huh? Can you guess who is who. lol. Seriously got nothing else to write. Going off now, see ya. haha.

2008-03-22T08:25:00.002+08:00

Today. The date of this post. Is her birthday. If we're supposed to forget about each other, I give the winning credit to her. Cause I still think of her now. Maybe all I need is time to forget about the past and to move on a head with a better future. May she be fine. May she always find someone who makes her smile. May she always enjoy herself wherever she goes. The fact that I think it would be difficult for me to forget about her could firstly be because I would still see her during CCAs. Maybe when she's out of school already like probably in one year's time as this is her final year, I might find it easier to not always have to bump into her and therefore still have to think of her. I am not irritated by this fact of always having to bump into her, I just wanna find peace again. What if. What if even one day I have practically zero contact with her, I still think of her. Then what could it mean then? haiz. Of course I wanna forget about the past, just let go of feeling sorry for dunno how many times already. I have to move on. I know i am moving on. That fact is clear to me. Oh well, just wish her Happy Birthday and hope she's always smiling her sweet smiles. Yesterday went to cousin's house. Little cousin sure likes to chat alot. haha. My best little cousin. Her three other older sisters, also my best cousins are all studying overseas. Hope to see them again soon like during their semester breaks when they can come back. In the evening, we all went out for dinner at Bedok Corner. Till now I still have this stomach ache feeling. Mom said drink lots of water to clear out my stomach. Today gonna meet my best friend, miss him, hope to talk about life once again. haha. Praying for a bright day today. Pray she has her bright day too. smiles.

2008-03-20T08:28:00.000+08:00

Stomach ache, stomach ache, stomach ache. Been having stomach aches ever since I came back from melaka. I mean I've always had them before like every morning. But this one has been bugging me all throughout the day. Maybe I had a little case of food poisoning or maybe the food there was a little unclean I dunno. At home now, not going for CIP in school today thanks to my uncontrollable stomach aches. Got lots and lots of homework to do, pray god I can finish them all up. It's not about how much homework you have that brings you down, it's well to me anyway, having fun doing your homework. Have fun, enjoy yourself wherever you are, always seize the day. So she gave me back the cd movie I burned for her. Maybe ending relationships means giving back things we once shared. shrugs. Then how about the chocolates i bought for her? When is that coming back. lol. Nah, she too bought for me stuff so well guess it's equal there. haha. Maybe thanks to whatever happened recently, I have changed? Being more open, making more new friends, not shutting myself up. shrugs. Cool. So I met two lovely friends yesterday after school before silat. One is a lovely gal, the other is also another cool gal. lol. Nice to know that there are still people out there who listen to the songs of AC_DC, The Offsprings and many other bands of old. hehe. We were thinking of forming a band to play for our school concert. Silat traning was cool. Made many more friends there, got kicked by my friend, haha. Instead of me always getting to kick, now it's my turn to hold the kicking pad and let my friend kick me. ouch! haha. Nah it's okay. Have to be able to handle the violence. lol. now I have to learn another artistic form of silat called the Regu. If you gals can teach me, I respect you gals. Cos I know this is a first for you and also a first for me. Yup yup, cool moves. haha. Okay, my friend got my mom's brownies at the end of the day. He has to be darn happy about it, only he knows why. hehe. So yeah, pray god, gotta do some homework now. Till another time. smiles

2008-03-18T21:42:00.002+08:00

Yeah! I just got my school loaned laptop today. Same brand Fujitsu laptop like my own laptop. Now I can use wireless in school. Last time can only use LAN cable with my lappy as the school wireless is reserved only for MOE approved computer. Yeah and I noticed my english is very the bad. haha. So like yeah. I officially have two laptops for my school work. One I will use in school for my note taking, wireless internet access, research, all school subject related work all using it. The other, my baby of about a year plus, I regret to have to leave at home. My baby left at home with all my movies, music, videos, pictures, games, programs, basically all my personal stuff. I'll leave it till Good Friday to sort things out. Gonna have to do some transfers yo, ya noe? like dat ma homies. School ah, who want to know school. Is geting more and more demanding lor. Got homework from just about every teacher yo. But I think i can totally do it. Just need some time, a refreshed brain, a nice armchair and some coffee. lol. Okay serious, on a serious note. I gotta do my homework now. hahaha. see ya. smiles

2008-03-17T19:24:00.001+08:00

5.57pm
Currently in the van, thought of writing this since usually on my trips home on the van I find that I don't have much to do. First, updates about today school. Timetable changed, classroom venues changed. Came to school feeling okay okay since a friend told me to just forget about the problem and think as if nothing happened. Today, classroom lessons were a blast. I've never felt so awake and involved in the class as i have ever done before. Maybe because it is just the start of a second term, but maybe after awhile, who knows I might start to get lethargic again as usual. Oh and yes, I have quite a lot of holiday homework i have to finish up. Thanks to melaka trip, i had less time to do it but that is no excuse. Went through the tasks I'm supposed to do for the holiday homework, I know what is required, I'll just go home later and finish it all up. School was fine, opened up myself more to my friends, basically enjoyed myself. This time i just had to break away from my closed up shell. But oh woe is me, someone wasn't happy about me. First I wanna say, don't we all do stupid things sometimes when we are overtaken emotionally? Like when we're angry, we may hurt people close to us even though in actual fact we don't mean to. Same goes when we are feeling down and depressed. We too may do stupid things that later on we may regret. Guess like what I did when I sent an email to this lady through the school email and the email sending is such that everyone else in her class will get it. Come to think of it now, I really don't know why I send that poem I wrote about her which I gave to her previously when we were still friends. What was I feeling at that moment. One thing to reach out to her, I was really feeling sorry at that moment, no pun intended. Secondly if she ignored it, just to show off to the first Arts year 3 class my poetry prowess. Yes it was lame. See the stupid things that you do when your feeling stuff? When she called me saying she wanted to talk to me, I thought she wanted to forgive me. This is because, yesterday, I wrote another long poem about her, saying that I was sorry to her. So far, this secret long poem, I only passed to her best friend of many years. That best friend told me that this lady is kinda short tempered. The best friend said she would talk to this lady soon enough when she cooled down. I didn't expect the best friend to talk to this lady so quickly. So i was surprised when this lady called me up saying she wanted a word with me. But I was wrong, she was angry with me over the email i sent to her entire class. That could explain my puzzeled lost look when I faced the lady and her little friend. Oh why did she have to cry. I don't know what to say anymore. sighs. What could be the use of feeling sory for her when she hates me and feels like killling me to the core. After just walking away from me after our meeting in the canteen, I was again lost for words. She ended our friendship nicely when she called me the F word when she called me just now when I was travelling in the van. I understand this, hurt people who are hurt by others, will try to wanna get revenge by hurting back the person who hurt them. Am I an evil person? If it's a consolation to her, I've hurt many people before her in the past as I was struggling with this condition of mine. You are not the first Mystery Lady. I have hurt my family, my friends, even people who I know little of or have any relations with at all. I wanna ask is it wrong to express yourself in whatever ways you desire? IF one person tells me it is my right to say whatever I want, then how come the other does not agree with that view? One person says she is okay with me writing about her but she does not agree with me writing about her friend? Who is contradicting who here. Yes it seems that I am contradicting myself too as people see me doing something but behind their backs, I am doing something else. Actually the part about me contradicting myself is less true. If people ever pay atention to my body language or facial expression, they should know that they are in for it. Indeed I am in a dilemma. But I force myself not to get emotionally involved as I know from past experience that it will affect my academic life and basically my whole life. I wanna ask too why must people be so sensitive. Why must they allow what people say about them affect their lives. Then again it was me who got sensitive in the first place about things that people don't tell me and too from rumours that I hear. This is an irony. That little girl I don't wanna talk about her anymore. I just leave her to go about her life as she pleases but if I do find anything else to say about her, I will just go ahead. We can write about our opinion about other people ma. I dunno i dunno I dunno. Guess the seconde long poem that I wrote for Lady Mystery is null though to me, it still has meaning and sums up the reasons for my hurtful actions, my weaknesses and my really sorry self. I will only have that second long poem left to recite to myself everyday in memory of her. Okay, now then I am starting to feel sad. sighs. Sometimes I really dunno why I have to do such things. Why do I form up so many prejudices against other people. Yes I need to grow up, I still have many life lessons to learn. I'm sorry. haiz.

2008-03-16T15:03:00.001+08:00

I dunno whether to start retaliating this tension between us or talk about the Melaka trip first. Maybe the Melaka trip first after all as people have been pressing me. Okay here goes, I'll try to forget about this sudden hurtful event for a while and talk about my expereinces during our Silat Exchange Programme to Melaka. Just a sumary can? I'll put like day 1 and day 2 and stuff but I'll also put in how I felt and stuff. Alright here goes.
Day 1
Bus picked us up in the morning at school around 8am plus to take us all the way to Second Link. Got our jackets for the Melaka trip just before we boarded the bus in school. It is a nice mostly red and white jacket. We wore our jackets mostly throughout the entire trip and I can only say that the jacket was quite comfy. haha. So bus takes us all the way to Second Link. Went to immigration, passport always checked if stamped, boarded the bus to take us across the causeway and did the same immigration passport stamp thingy at Malaysian immigration. The immigration for most of us was smooth except for a few people who the Malaysian customs complained about their passpot photos being too old. Thehn from Second link we headed straight to Yong Peng for our short toilet break. I had a Ramli burger there. So called Ramli burger la cause the meat seemed a little thinnner or should i say just full of air? haha. Some of us ate there while the rest were just waiting for the actual lunch at a restaurant further up. Forgive my ignorance as I forgot the name of the restaurant. haha. Guess when you can't see like me, you tend to forget? i dunno. Anyway at the restaurant, the food was typical malay food. So typical that I don't remember what food I ate. haha. All I know is that I think we had rice, chendol, fish, chicken and vegetables. The nafter lunch, we went for our site seeing! Where did we go. Went to a temple that housed Hang Tuah, and two other gys wells. Seriously. Wells of which the water inside them contained calcium. On one side people think that the calcium contained in the water from the well is a miracle while others believed that the calcium came from the bones of the deceased buried underground. Eew! hahaha. Yucky yucky. No disrespect to the two other greats who left wells in that temple as I too forgot their names. sighs! haha. Then after that, *snaps fingers*, I think we went for more sight -seeing. haha. Just a scramble of places here as I forgot the order already. Went to a place where the Melaka straits used to be, where the water once flowed at that very spot. Visited a replica of the Sultan of Melaka's royal palace, went to a historical museum. Darn lots of stuff i learnt there and if I were to write it all down, this would be a whole book kinda post. haha. Anyway, after visiting some historical sights, went for some shoping at Getaran Pahlawan, a shopping centre we went to another restaurant for our dinner. Again same typical food similar to the first restaurant. haha. Oh dear and oh yeah, we only had plain water at the restaurants. No juices or gassy drinks whatsoever. I guess good for health la, only drink plain water. Then after dinner, think we headed back to the hotel. Ah the hotel, it is called Nova Hotel. The hotel seemd to be quite okay, the lobby and ballrooms are comfortable. Most of us were seperated into three per room. Hotel room was nice. Me and my mates were given a fith floor room which had two beds, a sofa turned bed, telivision, hot water flask, toilet with a shower and two closets one for hanging clothes and the other for shoes. Lights out at 11pm, showered, listened to some music, watched tv and off to sleep.
Day 2
Silat exchange
Woke up early before breakfast for a little silat training. Went through the usual multiple stretching and warm up exercises. Then we had our breakfast. Now breakfast was quite okay. Had sausages, eggs, baked beans and surprise, some coffee. haha. After breakfast we showered and came down to meet the group from Gayong Silat Melaka. Only five boys from their side came as at that time, the Malaysians too were having their semester holidays. So yeah, no one was in their Silat school. haha. We had our Silat exchange at one of the ballrooms of the hotel. There was this Datuk that came with the silat boys and also about two other men i think. So it seems that Gayong Silat is more about self-defence. oh they teach you how to reall yhurt your enemies. Expecially those enemies that come to rob you when your out on the streets This is really street style self-defence. Unlike in Singapore where Silat is treated more like a sport. Datuk taught us to defend ourselves against enemies who wanna strangle us, put a knife through any part of our body, enemies who hold us tight, to deal with one enemy, two enemies and even three enemies at once. haha. I know where to hurt an enemy, how I can take him down, how I can put him to sleep, how to make him regret that he ever touched me. haha. After all those enriching lessons from Datuk, we then had a display by the boys from Silat Gayong. Boy do they have power and agility. I like the way they scream when they do any move. Sounds fierce, like they have a lot of power. No doubt about that. Think I will start screaming like that as well. haha. Silat sport in Singapore is very the quiet. lol. After the morning Silat exchange, we had our lunch together with the Gayong Silat members at a restaurant outside. Some of us had a chance to sit with the Silat boys and thus had an exchange of how Singaporeans eat and how Melakans eat. lol. Then after lunch we dropped off the Silat boys as we had to continue with our tour of the city. This time we went to yet another temple . haha. This temple was constructed by Admiral Ching Ho and it is very special because it housed the three religions of Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism. Admiral Ching Ho wanted to put all the three religions together as they relate to one another and they actually link people from their birth, life on earth and finally death. Yeah as I recall, think Buddhism was about being baptised when you are born there, in that religion, there is the goddess of mercy who takes care of innocent souls, the goddess of mercy has her story and I'll tell the story later if anyone wants to hear it. haha. Then we pass on the Confucianism as it is about worly possessions. Confucianism talks about the goddess of justice and the goddess of something else related to the earth but i forgot. haha. Then when your thinking of the after life and your ancestors, you go to Taoism and they teach you how to prepare for life after death. Cool huh. All three religions fit nicely. hehe. The tour guide as also talking about this light of which if it ever goes out in a temple, it shows that the temple is no longer blessed. The only way for the light to be re-ignited is for the monks to go to an even older temple than their own and get the light from there. Since this temple that we went to is the oldest temple in the region, the monks would have to go back to China where they have even older temples to get the light. haha. After the temple trip, we learned about the joss sticks, the paper replicas of stuff that they burn to get in the after-life, and then we went for dinner i think. haha. Yes yes e went for dinner, had again basic food like chicken, fish, rice, soup and look chendol again. haha. But this dinner was not bad I must say. I like the chendol, the soup basically all the food. haha. We actually made some time to shop at Mahkota Parade shopping mall before going to Datuk's house for more silat exchange. Yes Datuk's house. In some ulu kampong area. hehe. It was a nice experience. First we went there to watch the History Channel on Astro I think as it was having a show on Silat. About these two American guys coming to Malaysia and their struggle to become Silat fighters themselves by going through rigorous training. Through the show, Datuk showed us the different practices of the Silat fighters of Malaysia to become tough as nails. After the very informative show, Datuk took us out onto the muddy, wet grassy ground in our full silat atire just in front of his house for the second part of his teachings from the morning earlier. Thsi time we learned yet more ways to hurt or disable or disarm our opponents. Now this training was fun. You know why? Cause I learned to throw off my opponent if hee was trying to knife my throat from the back. Cool I didn't know I can throw off an opponent to the side even if he was heavier than me. hehe. I had such fun throwing off my friend who was heavier than me by about what 20 kiligrams? haha. Initially getting used to stepping on the wet grass with all the ants biting and crawling around my feet was abit irritating. haha. But it seemed that we all forgot about the muddy ground and the antz when we were busy training. haha. I had the honour of two of the Silat Gayong boyz teaching me how to atack the nerves of my attacker when he is trying to hold on to my shirt so that when I hit that sensitive area, he will let go as it hurts! hehe. Darn, i was about to bond with those two guys but teacher said we had to leave as it was reaching about 11pm. haha. Talk abot late night traning. I loved it! hehe. So we got back to our coach and guess about what time we reached the hotel? Like about 1am in the morning. haha. Another long day, did not bathe, just changed and off to bed. lazy la. haha.
Day 3
Final day
woke up around 7.30am, packed up bags, went down to have breakfast around 8.30am. This time there was cereal for some reason for breakfast. haha. Had the basic hotdog and yeah there was horfun too. And yes! We had potato wedges for breakfast. Now breakfast was tasty. haha. After breakfast, we went up to our rooms to take down our bags. Then we had a reflection session at some quite corner about the trip, about our personal expereinces, how we could improve ourselves, improve the trip. Everyone had a hearty exchange of views session. After all that, we got up our bus that will bring us to one last final shopping destination before going home. We headed to Jasco. The guys had to end shopping early as we had to go to the mosque for Friday prayers. After friday prayers, the bus took us back to Yong Peng for again another lunch break stop and finally back to Malaysian immigration. Passed customs, passed the causeway and another immigration, we headed back to school. What an interesting trip. Right after of which I lost my temper once again and therefore resulted in my previous post that resulted in me losing a friend who i initially thought was just a so so friend but actually yafter losing her, I feel that she actually means alot. My attitude needs a fixin'. I admit I am still in a transition period just like my other VH friend has told me. It will take years for me to get used to being like this and for me to understand and perceive the world in a different light. Thanks to my friends who managed to listen to me and give me advice on what I should do next. I will still see her again so long as she and he are in the same CCA as well as she being in school. I have this funny feeling, I'm supposed to feel down and sad and at a loss but instead I feel refreshed though silent and that I just have to move on with my life. May this be a lesson for me and may those who get hurt in the process of my transitioning, I sincerely apologise. I am just learning to cope with this new life of mine. That is all actually. Haiz, i just hope she's fine. Amin.

2008-03-15T10:19:00.000+08:00

This is a venting, emotional post. Reader discretion is advised.
Happy groupies. I see your having fun going out here going out there, jalan-jalan and having dinner. First that small girl who puts on a personality like she's having fun wherever she goes. Second is that other girl who has no manners. Come to my abode acting as if she is so polite and having such good manners that my parents notice her. While the other one that I like in the eyes of my parents is seemed as abit talkative. What an act. I tell you what she is like outside. Disgusting herself saying words that no proper girl should say, laughing at every little joke, no controlled laughter. But gadis ayu. Gadis ayu is manered, controlled, sweet, nice, shows that she knows her limits. But gadis ayu and that "laughing gal" say that both of them are twins since because they share the same interest? I say not! Sorry but I see nothing similar between the both of them besides the same hobbies that they may share. In terms of character, attitude and all that they are dissimilar. One is more reserved while the other needs to be shut up. That "laughing" gal and that little gal make a nice irritating couple that I will steer clear of whenever I have the chance. Thank god I don't see myself as part of their group. Next time I tell you guys what. Don't give me a name and put me a part of your group and then just leave me aside. Sorry, I'd rather be alone then have to stand the jests of the whole group. Must be my kinda person. Either I have one close friend and that's it, or if I'm in a group, same thing la I must be part of them. I am not a part of "that " group nor do I think i want to be part of their group. I'd prefer to be individualistic and see them and all others as sepereate entities. OKay sitting down here and typing all this is giving me leg cramps. I have to go for tuition soon, thoug hI'm not sure why. Not sure what questions I will have for them since I just got back from Melaka trip. Melaka trip updates soon.

2008-03-11T08:58:00.000+08:00

Saturday 'n' Sunday
Chalet Barbecue at East Coast
Aunties on father's side booked four chalets side by side with a sea view. Front of the chalet facing the ocean. It was beautiful. Reached there around 4pm on Saturday. Brought oven, guitars. Oven was for my mom's baking session with the little girls the next day. Guitars for the guys to slack around and jiwang. First day barbecue menu: Sting-Ray, hot-dogs, fish balls, crab sticks, honey chicken. Mee Soto, fruit cocktail for dessert. Cakes like brownies, fruit cake too. Oh not forgetting lamb and chicken satay. Had lots of nice food to eat. Guys jammed together on guitars at the balcony of one of the chalets, telivision in another and basically everyone was having fun making merryment. Slept around 10pm. Mostly everyone else was still awake. Woke up early, went down to the breakfast parlour to have breakfast. Menu was hot-dogs, chicken ham, chap chai, hor fun, eggs, toast, cereals, tea, coffee, samosa. Went back and showered, then went off alone to the beach. Mom already started the baking session cum competition for the little girls before i left. There were about four or five cute little girls, all my different cousin's daughters. They were baking cookies. Walked out and went right up to the edge of the beach. Felt the smoothness of the sand, the lapping of the cool water on my feet, heard the sound of the waves. Got my sandals wet thanks to the sudden outburst of one particular large wave. Took off sandals, got feet buried in the wet sand while the water was lapping over. Oh yeah actually before that I called T to wake her up. She told me to go out and not to stay in the chalet. Thanks to her la. I went out myself and reached the beach. Nice feeling of peace. Thought of the ocean, thought of sailing away on the sea, thought of forgetting all my troubles. I find I can call and chat with people I like not much of while at the beach. Ms Giggles always wakes up late on Sundays. Walked back to the chalet after some time for lunch. Lunch was Nasi Ayam, kuih lopis, coconut pudding and fruit juice. Had lots and lots of coconut pudding. Auntie made them all herself. She put them in little plastic cups. They were delicious. Sweet. Chatted with cousins about their lives thus far and my own expereinces. Had another barbecue in the evening. This time was Soto Ayam, satay, chicken and fruit cocktail. Had chillie padi this time with my Mee Soto and Soto Ayam. Nice and hot. Very nice. Had some entertainment in one of the chalets as one of my cousin's husband is a radio Deejay for Ria. Yeah he can talk non-stop, but most of the things he says are crap. haha. Had some prize giving for the best cookies for my mom's cookie baking competition with the little girls, some quizzes and a movie screening. After that packed up and left around 10pm. Reached home early. Lucky I live in Pasir Ris. Home, went online for a while, dumped all the laundery and slept. What an interesting two days. haha.

2008-03-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

So after last night's chatting with a good friend and a favoured cousin, I learn that i still have many weaknesses. That despite me my disability, I have become self-centered, easily emotional, ungrateful of things people have done for me. All that I use my condition as an excuse to become like that. I know that it is actually not right. Again I feel sorry for the things that I have done that hurt others. How am I going to deal with this problem of mine. In the end all I want is to be content with what I have. I don't wanna think of what people have and what I dont have. I wanna know that god gave me this condition because he knows that I can handle it. I wanna believe that this has come to me for a very good reason and lesson. I don't wanna feel jealousy and hatred anymore. I want to be able to control myself in times of great tests of my dissability. I just wanna cry every time I am holding back my tears of anger and frustration. Cuzzie said crying is good, that it helps. haha. I do learn some things from her. May you always be happy dear cuzzzie and may I always have a chance to talk to you about life. Yesterday during my recess break I wrote something for gadis ayu but then again after talking to my cuzzie, think I better just delete it. haha. Gee, I am in a happier mood now. I wanna stay this way forever. Just happy thinking and knowing that I have so many friends that I care about, that I like, that I know care about me too, that I just can be myself to, that when I'm with them I just feel that happy content feeling even without talking to them. I want to be happy just knowing that I have friends near me. Maybe one of my weaknesses also is that I feel bored when I don't et to talk to anyone. Like for example I know my friends are watching something nice and since I can't see it, I will get bored because i do not get any feedback. Maybe what I should do is to ask about what is going on with whatever my friends are seeing. It's better to ask then to get so worked up for nothing and thus scare all my friends away. I can't expect my friends to know exactly what I want if i don't say anything and just show a sour face. Who am I kidding but myself. Sigh sigh. May everyday be a better day for me. May I always open up so that I can learn from my mistakes. May I not make the same mistakes again and god willing may I always be reminded if I do make the same mistakes again. Preferably on my own intuition. smiles

*:-"HirZa"-:*

Fourth Date with Mrs A-Z

*Third Date with Mrs. A-Z*

My second day with my Mrs A-Z

My first time with Mrs A-Z

:-"HirZa"-:

Third Date with Mrs. A-Z